A divided diaspora
I never imagined I would live a day where I could write for both the Armenian Church Youth Organization of America (ACYOA) and the Armenian Youth Federation (ARF)—two of the most divided youth groups in the Armenian diaspora. That is how deep our division runs.
We say we want unity. We post about it, we chant about it at protests, we preach it in our churches. But the truth is, we are divided—by politics, by church allegiances, by community. We are the first Christian nation, something that no Armenian grandparent will ever let us forget. But do we act like it?
Jesus’ golden rule was clear: love one another, respect one another, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Where is that in our diaspora today? We do not love one another. We do not respect one another. We judge, we categorize, we separate.
I remember, as a kid, being asked how Armenian I was. 100%? No, and because of that, I was not considered a “real” Armenian. I was not allowed in the same playgroup as the “pure” Armenians. I was placed in the 50% to 75% group, and I remember feeling thankful I was not in the group below 50%. That group got bashed the most, even when they spoke perfect Armenian.
We have created boxes for ourselves within a census that has already erased our identity. The U.S. census labels us white—as if that says anything about who we are. Instead of fighting to define ourselves, we build walls inside our community.
The Armenian Apostolic Church is divided. Etchmiadzin, our Mother See, in Armenia; Cilicia, our Holy See, in Lebanon. When I visited Jerusalem, what I saw broke my heart: Catholic Armenians on one side, Apostolic Armenians on the other. We have let politics poison what should be sacred. Our churches should symbolize unity in Christ, but instead, they reflect our divisions.
And it does not stop at church. We do not attend each other’s events. We do not celebrate each other’s victories. We do not build each other up. Instead, we push away some of the most talented, driven people in our community—people who could be our strength, our future. I have met Ivy League students, biotech founders and leaders in investment banking who cannot even be in the same room as other Armenians. They have grown to resent the community and the place we have given them in it.
Even in church, I see it. I have been to both “sides.” The parish councils and committees handing out scholarships barely come to church. I see three, maybe four, elderly people in the pews each week. I rarely see young adults. Instead, churchgoers are obsessed with how we look, with who is wearing what and with finding a spouse. We show up halfway through so we can get communion, and we leave right after grabbing our coffee and choreg. We have begun to miss the real point: the spiritual grounding, the peace, the connection to God and each other; the support that we feel when we are part of a community.
Scholarships and support? They go to those who are loyal to certain names, certain organizations–not to those who truly need it. We are losing people who could be our greatest strength because of this. I applied to multiple Armenian summer internships, and the first question was always: Are you part of this Armenian group? The only program that accepted me was the ANCA Armenian Summer Academy. Their first question was: Are you part of the AYF? I replied no, and miraculously, I got in.
I remember going to a church bazaar. I stood there, all dressed up, with my friends when an old woman approached me and said, “Why are you here? This isn’t your side.” I was shocked. I had just spent $40 on a plate of kebab and definitely not gluten-free pilaf to support that church. Did it matter that I was not part of their box?
I understand why these divisions are hard to let go of. For so long, they helped us survive. After the genocide, these groups gave us structure, purpose and a way to rebuild. They protected our identity when the world tried to erase us. But what once helped us endure can now hold us back. Growth stops without adaptation. If we cling only to the lines drawn by past pain, we risk losing the future we dream of.
We should long for a day when we all can visit our homeland—not as part of a group or a side, but simply as Armenians. It is time to stop being known only for our tragic history or for which group does the most service. We should be known for our brilliance in science, art, technology and leadership.
The future will not be created by divided persons but by resilient, creative and good people. So, here is the first step: stop scheduling competing events, especially on the same day. Stop limiting opportunities. Let us create space for every Armenian voice to belong. This is the moment to rise as one. Because in unity, love and hope, we carry the promise of a people reborn. We carry the promise of an Armenian future.
As someone outside of the Armenian diaspora, I found this piece deeply moving and eye-opening. It speaks not only to the Armenian experience, but to the universal complexities of identity, displacement, and memory. Thank you for sharing this perspective, it challenged me to think about how history shapes community across borders, and how solidarity begins with listening.
Well said Grace! Keep showing up and speaking out. The ultimate survival of Armenian identity depends on thoughtful and insightful people such as yourself who are trying to unite us. Armenians need to remember the following: when we fight among ourselves it makes Aliyev, Erdogan and their genocidal followers smile. Every Armenian who truly cares about the survival of the Armenian homeland and Diaspora must keep this concept front and center in how they conduct themselves.
This is so thought provoking and well written, Grace. I too am outside the Armenian diaspora, but my personal experiences resonated deeply with the same ideas of identity and community. You make a very valuable case on the detriment caused that sort of narrow exclusion, and I couldn’t agree more on the necessity of fostering a broader collective where everyone feels recognized and united.
This is a very thought-provoking and skillfully written piece, Grace. I, too, am outside the Armenian diaspora, but my personal experiences resonated deeply with those same ideas of harmful division inside one’s community. You make a clear case on the detriments from that sort of narrow exclusion, and I couldn’t agree more with you on the necessity of fostering unity inside a broader collective.
As a full blooded Armenian, I completely agree with Grace’s assessment. Even though my family background has been Dashnak, growing up I always resented that ugly, divisive statement, “Vor Gom es” (what side are you on). There is only one side and that is the Armenian side, regardless of political or religious preferences. There are people that have 10% Irish heritage but consider themselves to be 100% Irish. It is how you are brought up and knowing your Armenian roots and being proud of it. I know a few so called 100% Armenians who care diddly- squat about being Armenian or concerned with Armenian issues. After suffering such a horiffic genocide, Armenians can no longer continue to exist in any divisive manner. Even if you have 5% Armenian blood, be proud that you have it!
Well said, Grace. My sentiments echo the other comments. When I lived in Durham, NC in the mid-80’s, Armenians were seeking others, and we formed an informal group. Everyone pitched in, regardless of affiliations, and helped with organizing picnics, a Badarak for Armenian Christmas and an April 24th Genocide Commemoration. It can be done. Perhaps people who are away from their home communities are more open to taking a step forward and not entrenched in the past.
As someone born in the ‘90s, to see this “two sides” still existing today, surprisingly strong, is hilarious and embarrassing.
This division stems from a a flag and murder dispute decades ago. The Soviet Union died and Armenia became free almost THIRTY FIVE years ago!
And this division still goes on?
Amot.
My relative told me that when he still goes to the grocery store and sees an “other sider” they run away!
These are adults. LOL.
As a former graduate of your Armenian school there were no playgroups based on Armenian ethnicity percentage or discrimination. Also the question on the ANCA program that asked if you were in the AYF was immediately followed by a question asking what Armenian youth groups you were a part of. And the “division” in Jerusalem has nothing to do with politics, catholic Armenians and Apostolic Armenians are not divided from politics they are different in beliefs they are not the same denomination of Christianity. Not to mention a lot of people from “ both sides” go to each others events, and St Gregory’s has gluten free pilaf which you would know if you went to their bizarre, just beacuse maybe you don’t doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. You are exaggerating a division where if it were not mentioned it would not exist.