Uncle Garabed’s Notebook

Short Course in Economics
The financial community came into existence in order to facilitate the operations of the manufacturing, industrial, and commercial sectors. However, major elements of the financial community, seduced by a private central bank (Federal Reserve), have by their depredations and greed assumed the role of the tail that wags the dog, so to speak, and have seriously compromised the soundness of the entire economy.

From the Trivia File
Crooning: A reprehensible form of singing that established itself in light entertainment music about the 1930’s… The principle of crooning is to use as little voice as possible and instead to make a sentimental appeal by prolonged moaning somewhere near the written notes, but preferably never actually on those notes. The smallest vocal equipment is sufficient for the purpose of crooning, one of its admirers’ delusions being that it does not become wholly satisfactory until it is amplified by a microphone. (Eric Blom, music critic.)

A Wake-Up Call
Vjar Bakalian, who was apt to be somewhat absent-minded on occasion, called on Dr. Aklorian, the family doctor, one evening. After chatting for a couple of hours, Bakalian rose to go, and Aklorian asked, “Family well, I suppose.” “Aman Asdvadz!” exclaimed his visitor, “that reminds me. My wife’s having a fit.”

Fame and Misfortune
Jascha Heifetz and Mischa Elman were dining together when a waiter brought a letter addressed to “The Greatest Violinist in the World.” The two passed the letter back and forth, each insisting it was intended for the other. Finally they decided to open it. It began: “Dear Mr. Kreisler…”

Nothing in Excess
Edo: I’ll sign your report card, but I’m not happy with your grades. They’re barely average.
Edig: Aren’t you forgetting the virtue of The Golden Mean?

What’s in a Name?
Azmelian: Of unknown derivation, but very likely identified as a place name. Azmay is the name of a village in the vicinity of Malatia, according to George Aghjayan. Therefore, the suffix li suggests a native of Azmay.


CK Garabed

Weekly Columnist
C.K. Garabed (a.k.a. Charles Kasbarian) has been active in the Armenian Church and Armenian community organizations all his life. As a writer and editor, he has been a keen observer of, and outspoken commentator on, political and social matters affecting Armenian Americans. He has been a regular contributor to the Armenian Reporter and the AGBU Literary Quarterly, “ARARAT.” For the last 30 years, Garabed has been a regular contributor to the Armenian Weekly. He produces a weekly column called “Uncle Garabed's Notebook,” in which he presents an assortment of tales, anecdotes, poems, riddles, and trivia; for the past 10 years, each column has contained a deconstruction of an Armenian surname. He believes his greatest accomplishment in life, and his contribution to the Armenian nation, has been the espousing of Aghavni, and the begetting of Antranig and Lucine.

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