How well do we communicate?
What distinguishes us from the rest of the animal kingdom is the capacity to use language—to speak and interpret, to talk and to listen. Indeed, the power of communication is our greatest source of blessing.
What does communication involve? Real communication involves a meeting of minds. It means making oneself understood to another human being, achieving rapport with one’s fellow man and breaking down the walls that separate one person from another.
Whether it is a domestic situation—in church and community life—or interpersonal relationships, each individual or organization has a perspective to offer, given that others can talk and listen with sincerity and respect. Of course, there are and there will be differences. But differences need not divide us; they can be dealt with in a friendly atmosphere.
We have the power to replace reactionary hatred with love, conflict with understanding and suspicion with trust. We can overcome the barriers that divide us.
How do we deal with the issue of communication?
The first principle we must always remember is that each of us is unique.
We all have our own traditions, environments and situations; each of us has their feelings and perceptions, fears and desires, wounds and styles. If we wish to reach the other person, party or group, we must make the effort to understand others in all their uniqueness. We must recognize, appreciate and accept the sorrow and the pride, the hope and the fear, which form the substance of people’s character.
We should not make others in our image, for it is not nobler than the image of God in which they were created. Let us speak to them and give them a chance to listen. Most probably, they will listen if we address the real person; the one who is unique. Let us know who they are; know where they live; know their aspirations and frustrations.
The second principle is that communication requires sincerity.
What is sincerity? It is the opposite of hypocrisy, deceit and pretense. To speak sincerely means to speak for truth and justice as we see them, not because of the advantage that accrues to us, but because it is true and right. When people speak to others, there is a question as to whose good they seek. If the suspicion dawns that they are in quest of their own glory or power, it is no wonder that they are not taken seriously.
Insincere people are satisfied with surface living. They try to “get by” with false appearances. Everything becomes a little game of constantly pretending to be something they are not, creating an illusion, trying to make a good impression.
In the realm of patriotism, insincerity can produce only counterfeit patriotism. In such a case, one’s usefulness for community welfare is greatly hampered because one is not, first of all, true to oneself. Shakespeare aptly wrote, “To thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night the day, thou cannot then be false to anyone.”
The third principle is that, in communication, there should be the element of listening with empathy.
When we listen with empathy, we experience the other side. We feel an event from the side of one’s partner in dialogue as well as from one’s own side. We do that when we listen carefully, attentively and with our whole being.
Empathy implies not only seeking to understand other people, but also trying to put ourselves in their shoes. Unfortunately, there is a general attitude among many to say, “I couldn’t care less.” But one who really empathizes would say, “I couldn’t care more.”
We should not lose sight of the fact that, as Armenians, we are members of the same Armenian national body and we need each other. No matter which church or Armenian organization we belong to, we must join hands and hearts together; we should not allow our differences to create a communication gap.
Do we really love the Armenian people? We have to overcome the divisiveness and separation that persist in Armenian life today.
We, who try to instruct the world in the tragic lessons of the Armenian Genocide, need to instruct ourselves. In the darkest hour of Armenian life, while the enemy vowed to annihilate us, in the Syrian and Mesopotamian deserts, we faced our national calamity together. We were one people, with one fate and destiny.
What is demanded of every Armenian, every Armenian church and every Armenian organization is basic respect for each other and a determination to leave the lines of communication open. We need the diversity that helps us find our way on the path that leads to Armenian loyalty and pride. We need to put the welfare of the Armenian people ahead of other considerations.
How well do we communicate?
