We all have a story to tell our children and grandchildren about our lives — where we grew up and what our experiences were during that time. In the American Armenian journey, we each have a unique story that weaves our hyphenated lives into the fabric of who we become. Just as our grandparents’ experience from expulsion to regeneration was unique for their family, they also shared a common history that allows us to relate to each story. At times, the names could be interchangeable regardless of where they were born or resettled in America. This blend of unique and common is what makes our people bond and seek each other out. Tragedy, rebirth and prosperity is the story of the diaspora.
Within the macro experiences of the diaspora in America, there are subcultures that have had significant influence on our development and maturation as adults. For many of you, my story is your story. We grew up in the Armenian Youth Federation (AYF), and although we may have left the organization by our late 20s, the AYF has continued to influence our lives. When I was very young, my parents would shuttle us to Camp Haiastan and the AYF Olympics. These were family experiences that left me with indelible impressions. I was struck by the countless number of people my parents would greet, hug and converse with during these social events, which were held outside of our community. When I asked my father and mother who these people were, they always responded with, “AYF friends.” It was similar to when my grandfather greeted out of town guests and simply said, “Gamavor paregam” (volunteer friend…soldier).
My parents were probably in their 40s at that time and had been in the alumni ranks for close to 15 years, yet they had a network of friends that was established more than 20 years earlier. I remember my father telling me that when I joined the AYF, I would make friends that would last a lifetime. He repeated that same advice to me before my first Olympics or my initial stay at the camp. I wanted to believe my parents; however, I was a bit shy at 10 years old and couldn’t grasp how this would happen. As we have all learned, nothing could be easier. The inherent bonds led to opportunities to build a national network that we enjoy to this generation and this day.
I was particularly fortunate, because my bonding began with AYF basketball, which included a social dimension, but the political domain became the glue. We grew up in the AYF at a time when political activism in the American Armenian community was in its infancy. It was the “cause” that brought us together, particularly as we attended conventions and served on the Central Executive together. The AYF is unique in the level of empowerment it offers to its youth. At a very young age, we experienced the planning of local, regional and national events and developed interpersonal, project management and financial management skills. These are life skills many of us have carried into our professional and family lives.
Our “gang” of friends consisted of dedicated Armenians who considered themselves brothers and sisters. We planned demonstrations and activist events together and then socialized as a family. Like in many AYF relationships, we were geographically dispersed, but that was never an obstacle. In our youth, we were from Providence, Boston, Detroit, New Jersey, Springfield, Montreal, Washington and Los Angeles. As our professional lives developed, the geographic boundaries changed, but the relationships continued alongside marriage and children. We gathered at each others’ homes, met at the Olympics and saw each other during business trips. Sometimes life would get in the way, and there would be lapses, but reengagement would always take place. We would have long discussions about how the AYF and its mission brought us together. As we have aged, the importance of these friendships has been paramount. How can we ever repay an organization that has given us so much? The answer to this question has always been to commit ourselves to the work of our community and to mentor the youth whenever possible.
We have established many traditions over the years. At our children’s marriages, four of us with the same first name would wear tuxedos, and the parent of the child getting married would wear a black tie. The other three would wear red, blue or orange, rotating the color at each wedding. Among the guys in our group, our wives have become close and connected with their “sisters.” Our children know each other, despite the distances. It has become an ever-expanding family that started with several teenagers over 50 years ago and now covers three generations. This story, and all of yours, are a part of the AYF resume.
Our network has remained tight with the help of social media. We share opinions and content with each other on our texting thread, which means that we are never far from each other. We started out together and have debated and counseled each other through the maze of life. The Armenian political cause brought us together as lifelong patriots. As we navigate the challenges of life, we have always been there for each other. During our social gatherings over the years, we have had the opportunity to hear about an amazing variety of professional experiences, from banking to research in Antarctica and entrepreneurial engagement. We have watched our children, and now grandchildren, grow as our integrated families have expanded.
During our young days as political activists, we made a promise to each other. It was a sunny day during a picnic at Camp Haiastan when we committed to traveling to Armenia if it became an independent state. I remember my brothers and sisters reminding each other of this agreement when that wonderful event happened in 1991. It did not happen immediately. There were children to raise and college graduations to attend, but in 2013 we made our epic voyage. We managed to find a common window in the early fall, and 17 of us made the trip. Many of us had been to Armenia by that time, but we had not shared the experience together. With this band of brothers and sisters, the experience together is everything. We needed an itinerary that reflected our needs. My buddy in Los Angeles and I handled those duties. Some of the unique adventures included working with a community on the Turkish border, drinking a toast and praying at General Dro’s gravesite, climbing on the Kevork Chavoush statue near Khor Virap and standing on the balcony where Aram Manoogian declared the First Republic in 1918. It was the pinnacle of friendship to experience Armenia and fulfill our dream together.
During this past year, one of our crew experienced a health challenge. It emotionally impacted all of us and reminded us that it is important to be there during all of life’s challenges. Upon his recovery, thankfully, we all felt the need to be together. This individual and his dear wife have hosted gatherings several times, but this time my wife and I volunteered. Once again, 18 of us gathered together for a day of discussion, debate and joy. Our professor from San Francisco was there as well as our Los Angeles activist couple. Friends came from New Jersey, Springfield, Providence and elsewhere simply to be together and enjoy music, food and fellowship. Whenever we gather, there always seems to be one surprise. While laughing together on our patio, I glanced to my right, and at first thought I had too much sun. Strolling up the walk was our brother from Montreal, who we had not seen in a few years. It was incredible. Apparently one of the guys found out he was coming to Boston to visit his son. He arranged to come a day early, but only a few knew. We have known him since the politically active convention of 1972. He was on our trip to Armenia in 2013. We are an integral part of each others’ lives.
Whenever we gather, we pause to praise the AYF for its unique role in our development. We know that this story has been repeated hundreds, perhaps thousands, of times with the same enduring joy of companionship. I think back to those days when my father predicted that I would have friends for a lifetime all over the country. He told me they would become part of my family, like extended siblings. Early on, we started to call each “yeghpayr” and “kouyreeg,” names that have proven to be a reality. The diaspora is sustained through relationships. It is manifested by organizations and institutions, but it is those relationships that are at the core of its success and continuity.
The AYF, through its programs, Camp, Olympics and Junior Seminar, provides ample opportunity for the development of these relationships. What a unique organization that has been the catalyst for the sustainability and joy of friendships for over 90 years. Sometimes we don’t realize just how special this experience is. We may think that everyone has friends around the country that they share a cultural and ethnic bond with. It reminds me of the time in middle school when, after Easter, my Mom packed Easter eggs in my lunch. As we were about to eat at school, I saw that others had Easter eggs as well, and I offered to crack my eggs with theirs. They looked at me like I was an alien, and I was informed that they had no such tradition. These relationships are special, because in addition to being grounded in love and respect, we are connected by a common faith and heritage. This becomes increasingly important as we experience the cycle of life. Thank you, AYF.
Stepan Piligian
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