Opinion
Seferian: Surreal, Funny, Extraordinary…Armenia!
Any person who has spent time in Armenia will have a story—or seven—to recount. I find that, in all my years in the country, I have come across some pretty interesting occurrences. All right, maybe “interesting” is too broad a word to use, but such mini-adventures in the Homeland can be anything from simply funny to downright surreal.
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There are so many indeed of these stories. Thank you for sharing some of them Mr. Seferian. Please keep them coming.
AST
I was hysterically laughing while reading your article. My husband and I returned only several weeks ago from Armenia. He, for the seventh time and for me my very first. He leads a trip every July for Fuller Housing for Armenia, where the team helps builds homes for those in need. I was so taken by the country! The Casinos, the roads, the people, the Lavash, the Kata bread and the country side. My very first view of Armenia in the morning when I awoke was that of Mt. Ararat! Truly tears came to my eyes! I could not believe that I was truly in the homeland. To top it off, speaking of surreal…. as I walked wide eyed through the streets of Yerevan, all my ears heard was Armenian!!! I knew just enough (kech ma) to get by. But to hear it constantly was amazing. Yes, the women wear heels high enough to give you a nose bleed and slacks that seemed has if they were steamed on,, but they have class! Of course with my sneakers I stood out like a soar thumb! But so taken am I with Armenia and its people that I look forward to going again next July. This time I will be armed with enough of the mother tongue. Funny enough the locals told me I spoke well. I actually think they said that to encourage me to speak more, and I did. Thank you again for making me laugh and remembering even though it is still fresh. My physical body is back in the states, but my heart and my soul were left behind in Armenia!!!!
Nareg, your article made me LOL and now I can’t resist sharing a few of my personal favorite “only in Armenia” stories…
1.) My friends and I sat down in a restaurant with the word “pizza” in its name only to be told that they weren’t making any pizza that day.
2.) I was spending time in Yerevan with my friends from Etchmiadzin and their three year old daughter was not with them. When I asked where she was, they informed me that she has a fever and possibly the chickenpox because she’s been eating too much ice cream.
3.) One of my favorite (albeit awful) translations: every menu lists “Sides” as “Garnishes” (i.e. french fries are a garnish)
4.) I am always asked the same set of questions in the same order by taxi drivers, shopkeepers, etc. An example of a typical conversation that I have with a stranger in Armenia:
Stranger: Do you have kids?
Me: No
Stranger: Are you married?
Me: No
Stranger: How old are you?
Me: 29
Stranger: What’s the problem?
5.) My taxi driver takes out a pack of cigarettes and instead of asking if I mind if he smokes, he asks if I would like one. Armenian hospitality even in a taxi!
6.) And my all time favorite: a local asked to marry me so he could come to America and get his green card. He assured me that, “the love will come later”. As tempting as this offer was, I politely declined. :)
The irony of it all is that reading your article and thinking of my own ridiculous Armenia stories make me miss the Motherland even more!