What is this thing called love?

February 14 is Valentine’s Day—a celebration of love and romance! Who was Valentine?

There are several legends about Valentine. According to one tradition, he was a wealthy young Christian who lived in the third century A.D. He was in love and soon to be married to a beautiful young lady. At that time, the Roman emperor declared Christianity illegal. To retain citizenship, all Christians had to do was say, “Caesar is Lord,” but instead they said, “Jesus is Lord.” As a professing Christian, Valentine was arrested and imprisoned.

While in jail, he wrote passionate love letters to his sweetheart, assuring her of his love and determination to marry her and live in bliss.

But it was not to be. On February 14, 269, young Valentine was executed because he would not renounce allegiance to Jesus Christ. This is one of several legends about this romantic day. 

The Roman Catholic Church has declared February 14 the Feast of St. Valentine and two different men named Valentine to be saints: one, a priest who was martyred by Emperor Claudius and buried on the Flaminian Way, and the other, a bishop of Interamna, executed in Rome for his faith, whose remains were later taken back to Terni. There is evidence to corroborate these stories and to indicate that both men were dedicated to serving others in the name of Jesus, and paid the ultimate price with their lives.

On the other hand, Valentine’s Day may be a conversion of the pagan festival of Lupercalia, which was celebrated by the Roman people in mid-February.

Whatever the origin, Valentine’s Day is a celebration of love and romance, a day to recognize that even in an age and society of unfairness, unfulfilled dreams, loneliness and alienation, there is still love.

Have you heard about the world’s longest love letter? In 1875, a painter in Paris by the name of Marcel de Leclure wrote to Magdalene de Villalore. The letter contained just three words, “I love you,” 1,875,000 times! He did not write the words himself; he hired a scribe. But he didn’t just say, “Write, ‘I love you’ this many times.” He actually dictated the words each time. So, all in all, the phrase was uttered orally and in writing 1,875,000 times! I hope they lived happily ever after!

What is love? How would you define love? We really can’t. Yet, everyone knows what it is. On the one hand, love is so simple, elementary and universal. On the other hand, it is so complex.

Love involves the mind, body and spirit. It includes the warm and fuzzy feeling of holding hands with someone, the encouragement of a hand on a shoulder, a simple card in the mail or a telephone call. But love is more than an emotion.

As we know, there are different types of love. There is love and affection between friends. There is love between lovers—romantic love. There is an unconditional love that Jesus models for us; that is called agape love. All manifestations of love are beautiful—love between friends, love between lovers, parental love and love of country—but without agape love, they are incomplete. It is agape love—selfless, sacrificial, generous and unconditional love—that makes all of our relationships meaningful.

The love God gives us, and the love He wants us to give others, is radically different. God loves us not because of anything we want to do for Him. He loves us unconditionally. If you have children, you understand this kind of love. Parents love their children not because of what their children do for them, but simply because they are theirs. Agape is unconditional and sacrificial love. It deeply desires everything that is good for the other person. This is why parents make sacrifices for their children. They lay down their lives for the good of their children. This is the kind of love Jesus displayed by dying for us on the cross. This is the kind of love God gives us and requires of us. 

Jesus emphasized this in the Great Commandment: “Love your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt. 22:37-38). Notice that this is a commandment, not a suggestion or a recommendation. This is more than a feeling and emotional expression. This is a conscious commitment on the part of the person who loves. This commandment applies to all of life’s relationships—parental love, romantic love, love between friends and even love towards enemies.

The question may be asked: How can we show our love to others?

We can show our love through verbal communication and verbal declaration of love. Spouses should take the time, have the courage to look each other in the eye and say, “I love you!” Parents, children, loved ones and friends should seize every opportunity to do the same.

But love is more than words; it is a matter of attitude and action. A fond affection is not enough, especially when some people do not have outgoing, extroverted and expressive temperaments to express their feelings. Genuine love can be expressed in thoughtful, kind and giving attitudes and actions. Real love is not what we feel or what we say, but what we do. Love is a way of living at home, school, work, play, church or where we happen to be.

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Rev. Dr. Vahan Tootikian

Rev. Dr. Vahan H. Tootikian is the Executive Director of the Armenian Evangelical World Council.

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