When unresolved differences become destructive

The admirable attributes of the greater Armenian nation far outweigh our weak points. Were it not for those strengths, the term Armenian or Armenia would have been assigned to ancient history. I must admit that my passion lies in problem solving and improving our collective lot. This has substantial downsides since one can easily be labeled as “negative” or even disruptive. Most people prefer to remain in the mainstream and limit their exposure to social risk. A significant portion of our discourse today is focused on the external threats to our way of life as Armenians. Media outlets such as the Weekly have devoted their efforts in the interests of keeping our communities informed and thinking. One of our challenges that unfortunately has a prominent place in our collective behavior is our inability to manage differences and find compromises. I will avoid the word “unity” since that term has been tainted particularly in the American diaspora as a reference to the administrative division of the church. Unfortunately, our unresolved differences extend far beyond the church and exist in virtually every aspect of our society. My intent is not to advocate for the elimination of differences or limiting diversity. Diversity is a hallmark of democracy and embraces the most important concept in communal experiences—inclusion. This weakness has existed long enough that we make jokes about it such as, “If there are four Armenians in the room, there will be five opinions” or “Two Armenians stranded on an island decided to build two churches.” It is healthy to laugh at ourselves, but all satire has an element of truth. The tragedy lies in limiting our potential.

We have all experienced both the healthy aspects of different opinions and the destructive nature of unresolved issues in our community life. How many church parishes and organizations have been weakened by unresolved differences that lead to negative consequences such as members leaving or a major reduction in services? We also have many examples where healthy debate is encouraged and consensus is reached. The difference in these circumstances is our egos. Our egos limit our ability to listen, prevent us from compromise and most destructively eliminate forgiveness. I have always found it sadly ironic that we as a people proudly proclaim to the world that we are the first Christian nation, yet many of our internal problems are plagued by our inability to forgive each other. Many of us have admired leaders who shun power and display only what’s in the greater interest. We have also seen manipulation and influence obsessions. Leaders are not simply those appointed or elected to administer the group. They are the individuals who are selfless and deeply committed to our collective success. Personal agendas and exclusion do not exist. Based on that criteria, one can understand why we are suffering from a leadership crisis at many levels of our greater nation.