Uncle Garabed’s Notebook (Aug. 6, 2016)

Of ‘Ulysses’

I’ve put in so many enigmas and puzzles that it will keep the professors busy for centuries arguing over what I meant, and that’s the only way of insuring one’s immortality.

…James Joyce


Down to Basics

Waiter: You sometimes find a pearl in an oyster stew.

Customer: Never mind the pearl, I’m looking for the oysters.


Armenian Proverb

She is so beautiful that she lights up dark walls.


The Sexual Non-Revolution

Women will wear anything new, no matter how uncomfortable, and men will wear anything comfortable, no matter how old.


Having It Both Ways

The classification of official documents by the government to protect sensitive information from falling into enemy hands is also used to hide unscrupulous government manipulations from the eyes of the public.


Quite a Ploy

Housewife (to salesman at door): I’m not in the market for a vacuum cleaner, but you might try the people next door. We often borrow theirs, and it’s in terrible condition.


On the Contrary

Edo: Long hair makes a man look intelligent.

Bedo: I once saw a wife pick one off her husband’s coat, and he looked foolish.


What’s in a Name?

Khlebnikian: Russian in derivation, identified as a trade, khlebnik is defined as baker.


CK Garabed

CK Garabed

Weekly Columnist
C.K. Garabed (a.k.a. Charles Kasbarian) has been active in the Armenian Church and Armenian community organizations all his life. As a writer and editor, he has been a keen observer of, and outspoken commentator on, political and social matters affecting Armenian Americans. He has been a regular contributor to the Armenian Reporter and the AGBU Literary Quarterly, “ARARAT.” For the last 30 years, Garabed has been a regular contributor to the Armenian Weekly. He produces a weekly column called “Uncle Garabed's Notebook,” in which he presents an assortment of tales, anecdotes, poems, riddles, and trivia; for the past 10 years, each column has contained a deconstruction of an Armenian surname. He believes his greatest accomplishment in life, and his contribution to the Armenian nation, has been the espousing of Aghavni, and the begetting of Antranig and Lucine.
CK Garabed

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