“I loved the Armenian culture and wanted to be part of it,” says Betty Franck Giragosian.
“There was nothing about it that bothered me. I loved Armenian food. It is so satisfying and delicious. In answering your questions, I am getting an even better understanding of my mother-in-law. She would be pleased she is occupying so much of my thoughts.”
Betty Jean Franck was brought up in the fine tradition of the genteel Virginia south. Her family was of German, French, and English heritage. She describes her life thusly: “I grew up in my grandparents’ house. My parents lived with them. I had a wonderful childhood filled with love, books, and music. We had a quiet, simple life. I excelled in my studies.”
Haike Giragosian was the American born son of Armenian Genocide survivors Manoog and Takouhie from Kharpert, who settled in Richmond, Va. They were successful restaurant owners. Their photo reveals a very attractive couple with Mrs. Giragosian being especially beautiful.
It was on their third date that the handsome Haike and lovely blonde 19-year-old Betty decided to marry, a fact unknown to either of their parents. Betty says, “I met his parents after the third week and I am sure they must have wondered what to do with this foreign teenager.”
“The fact I was an odar did not seem to be a problem. It certainly helped that his parents spoke excellent English.” (Odar is the term she uses.)
Betty was not immediately aware of any hurdles to encounter with her in-laws. “I did sense there was a strong bond of love between Haike and his mother. He made it clear his mother was very important in his life. I may have even been a bit jealous. She was such a perfect housekeeper and cook.” Even clearer was that the elder Mrs. Giragosian thought her golden Armenian son deserved the best in food, care, and nurturing,
Betty and Haike were married in the chapel of Highland Park Methodist Church in Richmond by her minister uncle. St. James Armenian Church did not exist at the time. “I don’t believe there was resentment that I was not Armenian. It was just hard for his mother to let him go, and believe me it was just as hard for my parents to let me go.”
“That was one sad wedding. Both sets of parents did not want us to marry but the difference in cultures really had nothing to do with it,” says Betty.
“For the first few years there was no closeness between us and often a feeling of almost friction existed” with her mother-in-law. All of that changed because of Betty’s sincere interest in Armenian culture and tradition. “There was never a cross word between us. We became very fond of each other. We behaved like ladies.”
“I remember the first time I took her to a Ladies Aid meeting. I was going to leave, but decided to stay and had such a good time that thereafter I always went with her until her health failed. Once afterwards I went alone but couldn’t wait to get home because I discovered how much I missed Queenie [Takouhie] not being with me.”
Unlike most odar harses Betty learned it all. “My mother-in-law was an excellent cook and did teach me Armenian cooking: lahmajoun, Kharpert kufta, sini kufta, sarma, dolma, kheyma, and vegetable dishes. I loved the food and wanted to learn. My mother-in-law wanted her son to have Armenian food. I can remember my father-in-law being astonished at how well I made the kuftas. She taught me all her secrets. I think she praised me to her friends.”
Through the years Betty has had a leadership role in the United Daughters of the Confederacy. She is an organist and pianist and has served in that capacity in her church since 1963. Haike is a retired general manager and treasurer of the Cadillac dealership in Richmond. They’ve given financial support to both the Methodist Church and St. James Armenian Church.
They participate in the huge annual Armenian Food Festival of Richmond, which draws in thousands. Betty describes it “as a spirit of brotherhood, fun, and respect. It is an enormous amount of work for the members but they do it, the younger generation having now taken over for the older one.”
The road to happiness with her immigrant Armenian in-laws did not happen overnight. It was her sweetness and genteel personality coupled with true love for Haike that led to a smooth, gratifying relationship. “I love my husband dearly and would do nothing to hurt him.” She was a wise woman who was determined to win over his parents and in the end it paved the road to contentment for all. Everyone was a winner.
Sixty-two years of serene marriage, two sons, six grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren, the Giragosians have set an example of how people from different backgrounds can have true happiness.
Here is a clue to the character of the wise Betty Giragosian: As she says, “I feel very humbled to be the subject of your paper. I hope I have honored my Armenian parents by marriage.”
The reality is she has honored us all by embracing our Armenian culture when she could have just turned her back on it all. That Haike is one lucky Khatpertsi.
Don’t you just love a good love story?
Betty Apigian-Kessel
Latest posts by Betty Apigian-Kessel (see all)
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Betty, did you say that Betty Franck makes Kharpert keufta? Porov keufta? She makes it voluntarily? My grandmother was also from Kharpert, and whenever it was time to make the keufta, my Moushatsi mother would roll her eyes and pretend to be an odar, who had no idea what grandma was talking about. She was willing to help mix up the bulghur, and lamb, and onion, and green peppers, for the stuffing, but when it came time to shape the bulghur and lamb keyma mix into balls that had thin, hollow walls, my mother was nowhere to be found. Grandma would twirl those balls around in her wet hands, and like magic, they somehow became exactly the right size and shape and thinness to hold the stuffing. My mother could not be trusted to have the required patience to lower them into the broth without them coming apart. The honour was mine, and I remember still, the fragrant steam as I slowly, and carefully, lowered them, one by one, into the hot liquid; then sat there with my empty bowl, and waited, just patiently waited. Of course Betty Franck’s mother-in-law loved her. Her son had married someone who was willing to make Kharpert keufta with thin walls. her “golden son” was in good hands.
hi, me from turkey. my wife frequently cooks the dish you call kharpert keufta. It is very hard to wrap the soft moist bulgur to keyma mix for beginners. So a a bit dirty trick is prepare the keyma mix before, make them walnut size, freeze it to hard form and then use the hard kernels for wrapping up with bulgur.
nice to hear about armenians attaching themselves to preserving their culture in so distant countries
cheers
etem
Very lovely love story.. I hope that everyone who ends up marrying Odars will have the genteel and lovely personality like Betty and embrace our culture..that sure shows the love and dedication..
We truly respect you Betty and of course love the Kyuftas..:)
May God protect you..
Gayane
Yes, Perouz, Betty Giragosian makes all the food items mentioned in the column. As a matter of fact she was preparing to make lahmajoun at the conclusion of our interview. I have only one other time met the likes of Betty Franck Giragosian and she lives near me in Michigan. Both non-Hye ladies admit to only feeling comfortable with an entnic mate. I hope there are others.
Thank you Serpouhie,
This is such a lovely article, and just in time for Valentine’s Day. It is so heart-warming to know that our traditional recipes continue to be made and appreciated the way that Betty does. Most of the genocide survivors who handed these recipes down to us are no longer here, but many of us remember still their care and reverence for food. They knew the struggle in not only planting and growing, but also in being able to keep their harvest for their own table, and not have it confiscated. Most of them escaped with nothing but their memories. It was very important to them that we did not forget the cooking of their own mothers and grandmothers. Their memories of home and family are embedded in the recipes. This is one reason why Betty’s “Armenian mother” is so happy that her son married someone who would make Kharpert Kuefta. Betty is willing to carry on the family tradition.
Tomatoes and parsley for lahmajoun can be grown from centuries old heritage seeds from Armenia and Cilicia. I like to think that I am sharing my grandmother’s ritual of the kitchen, and also helping to preserve these ancient seeds by keeping them planted. In winter, I grow the parsley in large pots in my garage. Here’s what the catalogue says about it:
CILICIAN PARSLEY A medieval variety that originated in Cilicia which was a medieval kingdom on the coast of Armenia that existed from 1198-1375 A.D. Very nice flavor. Prefers part shade. Over wintered with hay and a lot of snow. EXTREMELY RARE.
Here is what it says about the tomatoes:
A beautiful bicolor tomato from Armenia. The fruit average 1lb and are gold with red mottling inside. Nice taste. Indeterminate, regular leaf foliage. (90 days from transplant)Warning about the tomato seeds – the plants often grow more than 6 ft. high.
I also grow small heritage cantaloupes from seed harvested along the Tigres River. Here’s what the catalogue says about the melons:
TIGGER ONE OF THE MOST UNIQUE MELONS YOU CAN GROW. ORIGINALLY FROM ARMENIA, THIS MELON IS QUITE DROUGHT TOLERANT. THE SMALL MELONS AVERAGE 1 LB AND ARE YELLOW WITH BRIGHT RED ZIGZAG DESIGNS ALL OVER THE FRUIT. THE WHITE FLESH IS SLIGHTLY SWEET AND EXTREMELY AROMATIC. RARE. (80-85 DAYS)
If anyone knows where to buy Armenian heritage green pepper seeds, I would be grateful for the info.
thanks Betty, for this very special story.
Perouz jan.. as I was reading your post, I was transferred the old days when our grandmothers and great grandmothers cooked delishous dishes from the vegetables they harvested themselves.. I could smell the aroma… amazing how words can create a picture and create an atmosphere where one feels soooo connected to what is being described even if they have no way of knowing how things looked in the past..
Betty sure is one special lady to continue our tradition… hope we have many more like her as I know intermarriages is inevitable because we are all over the world…
God Bless
Gayane
Would the Armenian Weekly please assist me in acquiring a catalog of Antique
Armenian seeds? I was quite excited to read Perouz’s comments abut them.
I have loved reading the comments from these kindred spirits.
Betty Giragosian
Sireli Betty; we are indeed kindred spirits. You are what is lovingly called an ABC Armenian – that is, an Armenian By Choice. You are, therefore, no longer an odar.
I contacted the seed company I buy mine from, but they can no longer ship to the USA. I am in Canada. Customs can’t tell if it is veggie seeds, or… ahem… seeds for something that might get smoked instead of put on lahmajoun! Go on-line and look for Heritage (not antique as you have written) Armenian Seeds. I think you will find them. Also, find out if “Giants of the Earth” Baron Apigian grows Armenian heritage tomatoes. I somehow think he does. It is easy to get Armenian cucumber seeds. They are long and thin skinned. They are hard to grow, so plant more than you think you need. The melons from the Tigris River are small, but sweet. I can tell you that the tomatoes are absolutely wonderful, not acidic. To pick one and eat it, while it’s still warm with sunshine on it, is one of life’s generous treats. The parsley from Cilicia is small-leafed, but prolific. I grow it in the garden, but also in large pots that you can bring into the house or garage in the winter. I have never found rosemary for the lamb from Armenia, but I am always on the look-out for it. I grow it inside in large pots in the winter too. You can grow these vegetables in amongst your flowers if you don’t have a veggie garden, or in deep pots on a balcony. Stake the tomatoes, Betty; they grow very tall. I’d better not say anymore about this, or the guys are going to start chastising me for turning AW into an Armenian gardening and cooking column!
Gayane, jan, too bad we don’t live closer to one another. I have fresh chicken broth in the fridge, so I think tomorrow I will use it when I make manti. I still have garlic I grew in the garden last summer. We would share the manti with fresh madzoon and garlic together. Sooner or later, you and I will meet. I know both you and Seervart want to speak with me about Dikranagert. It will happen one day. You’ll see.
armenian cucumbers are not hard to grow. give them some place to climb, feed regularly with complete organic fertilizer and regularly collect all cukes. If left, it will not bear new fruit, will try to extent fruit size and mature the seeds.
Please Perouz, please AW,
This is wonderful information. More, please!
Perouz, thank you for this information. Your description is so lyrical, I was enchanted. I want to go into the kitchen and cook!!! I want to plant Armenian seeds
We have flower beds and grow Hanover Tomatoes, which are famous here in Virginia, in their own beds.
Betty
Sireli Hye cooks and gardeners;
I want to give yJda more information about Armenian Heritage seeds, so let’s see if I can slide some more “pink” onto this redblueorange site. Think about how these very ancient seeds have come to down to us. A new hars or her young amousin would plow the warm soil for their very first garden, and then get seeds from both their families. In the fall, when the harvest came in, they would take the very largest and best tomatoes, peppers, okra, eggplant, etc., and they would carefully remove the seeds. Those seeds would then be cleaned and stored all winter, in order to be used in the next spring’s planting. Women exchanged seeds between themselves for their kitchen gardens, so if your crop of peppers did not produce well last year, and mine did, I would share my seeds with you. Or if the barbarians did not confiscate your crop, but they took mine, you would share yours with me. When you buy your heritage seeds for the first time, you will do the same, and save seeds from some of your crop. You will never have to buy seeds again. Because these seeds are “open-pollinated,” they will always come back the same as the mother plant of the previous year. There has been no hybridization of these seeds; they are true to the original. So, when you cut into a ripe melon and lick the juice off your fingers, that is exactly what hundreds of Armenian women did before you, with exactly that same variety of melon. Whenever I give anyone heritage seeds or plants, I remind them that they have an obligation to share the seed from their crops with another woman. Seeds do not belong to us. They belong to the generations. You can start plants indoors in little pots, and when your little Armenian tomatoes and parsley and cucumbers and melons are a nice size for setting out, you can keep some plants for your own garden, and then, you can sell the rest of the plants to raise money for Armenian charity; for our women and children who don’t have enough food on their table. Remind those who buy your plants that they too, must share the seeds.
So, how did our mothers grow kitchen gardens without all the pesticides that are used today? Well, they welcomed birds into their gardens. I have twenty-five bird houses in my garden, and several feeders. Every spring, babies are born in those little wood houses, and as my vegetables grow, so do the baby birds. When the bugs that want to munch my young plants creep into my garden, the mother birds spot them, and quickly snap them up for their hungry, growing babies. And soon, the fat little babies have grown fluffy feathers and can fly, and they too, are guarding my veggies. I have running fountains of clear water and bird baths for them to splash in and drink. There is a bonus to this kind of bug control. You know that you are not only feeding your family, but you are helping to feed the song birds. You are doing all this from just a little packet of seeds. Plant marigolds around your vegetables, and they too, will help keep the bugs away. And you can put your golden marigolds on the table when you serve your lahmajoun with Armenian tomatoes and parsley, your salad with Armenian cucumber, and melon from the Tigris River for desert.
Here is the web site address for Seeds of Diversity, a non-profit group who saves seeds just like ours from extinction. They will tell you how to save seeds. http://www.seeds.ca/en.php Hope I have answered all your questions, jda.
Here is a heritage Armenian flower whose seeds should not be too hard to find in N. America. It is a perenial that readily self seeds, so give it space. Bugs do not dare to attack it. It grows very easilyin Canada, year after year. Here is what the catalogue says about it:
Armenian Basketflower
(Centaurea macrocephala) (aka Globe Centaurea, Yellow Hardhead) Originally brought from the Caucasus Mountains to Britain in 1805, the Armenian Basketflower is a bold striking plant ideal for the back of the perennial border. The large yellow thistle like flowers make good cut flower or dried decorations. Drought tolerant. Prefers sun. Ht: 4’ Perennial Zone 2