Uncle Garabed's Notebook (March 12, 2011)

Classic Taunt
Float like a butterfly
Sting like a bee.
Your hands can’t hit
What your eyes can’t see.

…Muhammad Ali

From the Internet
This year we will experience four unusual dates: 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/1/11, 11/11/11.

Snappy Comeback
The English teacher was attempting to make a point in grammar, and stated to the class:
“I didn’t do nothing on Thanksgiving Day, I didn’t do nothing on Christmas Day, and I didn’t do nothing on New Year’s Eve. Now, tell the class, Joey, how that should be corrected.” Joey, the wise guy of the class, shot back in a flash, “You oughta get a boyfriend.”

A Hefty One-Liner
Most people gain weight by having intimate dinners for two…alone.

Armenian Folktale
When God created the animals, He gave them names, such as horse, cow, pig, etc. The ass came back a day later and said, “Lord, I have forgotten my name.” God very kindly replied, “Your name is ass.” “Thank you, Lord,” said the ass and departed.
A week later, the ass returned and said, “Lord. I have forgotten my name again.” God, less kindly, said, “Your name is ass.” “Thank you, Lord,” said the ass, and departed.
A month later, the ass returned because, again, he had forgotten his name. God became annoyed, and pulled the ass’s ears and elongated them. “That’s so you will hear more clearly, and not forget that you are an ass!’
…Compliments of Aram Khatchadourian

What’s in a Name?
Atabekyan: Turkish, Kurdish, and Persian in derivation, identified as a calling, ata is defined as father, and bek or beg is defined as lord. The term is used to designate a domestic or private tutor.

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CK Garabed

Weekly Columnist

C.K. Garabed (a.k.a. Charles Kasbarian) has been active in the Armenian Church and Armenian community organizations all his life. As a writer and editor, he has been a keen observer of, and outspoken commentator on, political and social matters affecting Armenian Americans. He has been a regular contributor to the Armenian Reporter and the AGBU Literary Quarterly, “ARARAT.” For the last 30 years, Garabed has been a regular contributor to the Armenian Weekly. He produces a weekly column called “Uncle Garabed's Notebook,” in which he presents an assortment of tales, anecdotes, poems, riddles, and trivia; for the past 10 years, each column has contained a deconstruction of an Armenian surname. He believes his greatest accomplishment in life, and his contribution to the Armenian nation, has been the espousing of Aghavni, and the begetting of Antranig and Lucine.