Uncle Garabed’s Notebook (August 14, 2010)

Genoese Proverb
It is better to wear out one’s shoes than one’s sheets.
 
A Cynical Observation
Life is tough for men. When they are born, their mothers get the flowers and compliments. When they are married, their brides get the presents and good wishes. And when they die, their widows get the insurance money and winters in Florida.
 
Daffy-nition
Sadist: A masochist who follows the golden rule.
 
How About That?
The musical instrument known as an English horn is not English, and it is not a horn. It is an alto oboe with an angled mouthpiece in the form of a pipe. The “English” in English horn is a mistranslation of “angled.”
 
A Legendary Name
Almanzor, the caliph, wishing to found a city in a certain spot, was told by a hermit named Baghdad that a man called Moclas was destined to be its founder. “I am that man,” said the caliph, and he then told the hermit how in his boyhood he once stole a bracelet and pawned it, whereupon his nurse ever after called him moclas (thief). Almanzor founded the city and called it Baghdad, the name of the hermit.
 
The Odds are Even
Edo: I understand that you are now working for a nationally recognized polling service.
Bedo: That’s right. I was asked to joint hem only last month.
Edo: Tell me, why am I never contacted and asked my opinions by any major polling outfit?
Bedo: Do you realize that your chances of being contacted in a poll are about equal to your chances of being struck by lightning?
Edo: I have been struck by lightning.
 
What’s in a Name 
Garavanian: Turkish in derivation, identified as a trade, garavan, a variant of karavana is defined as a flat copper pan, or mess-tin, or a kind of flat diamond; therefore someone who deals in such objects.

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CK Garabed

Weekly Columnist

C.K. Garabed (a.k.a. Charles Kasbarian) has been active in the Armenian Church and Armenian community organizations all his life. As a writer and editor, he has been a keen observer of, and outspoken commentator on, political and social matters affecting Armenian Americans. He has been a regular contributor to the Armenian Reporter and the AGBU Literary Quarterly, “ARARAT.” For the last 30 years, Garabed has been a regular contributor to the Armenian Weekly. He produces a weekly column called “Uncle Garabed's Notebook,” in which he presents an assortment of tales, anecdotes, poems, riddles, and trivia; for the past 10 years, each column has contained a deconstruction of an Armenian surname. He believes his greatest accomplishment in life, and his contribution to the Armenian nation, has been the espousing of Aghavni, and the begetting of Antranig and Lucine.

Latest posts by CK Garabed (see all)

• A Reminiscence: John Najarian - February 19, 2020
• Uncle Garabed’s Notebook (Aug. 5, 2017) - August 7, 2017
• Uncle Garabed’s Notebook (July 22, 2017) - July 22, 2017