Yegparian: Irritants XIV

Let’s start this set of blood-pressure-elevators with a brief Anti-Defamation League (ADL) encounter. You’ll remember the ADL won my “coveted” SpitRain Award for its shamelessness in denying the genocide. This outfit is truly debased. Now, they’ve managed to get, from ClearChannel—for free—in Massachusetts, over 100 billboards to use for their anti-bullying program. Meanwhile they are the epitome of the bully. But there’s some delicious and depressing irony to go with this episode. One of those obnoxious billboards was replaced by a genocide recognition sign. Unfortunately, that one is paid for by “Peace of Art,” an organization that has committed to raising awareness. You might contact ClearChannel and give them a piece of your mind, and CC the ADL on that note.

Moving on to an internal, Armenian community irritant, I’ll cite an issue of language. I’ve often entered Armenian stores and had my query—in Armenian—receive a reply in broken (sometimes terribly so) English. I guess I just don’t look the part of an Armenian. But recently, this phenomenon crossed an intolerable threshold. My conversation was in Armenian with an employee who had met me previously. Yet, she persistently replied in English to my Armenian, even after I asked her why (since she did know Armenian, fluently, had said so herself, and there was thus no question of ability). This was irritating, but there is no shortage of fools on this planet. What raised the bar to the unacceptable level was her speaking Armenian to the next customer, with no pause whatsoever.

In the mundane, non-Armenian-related, automotive-irritant realm, we have the phenomenon of wasteful parking, most often curbside. This occurs when someone parks in the middle of a space large enough for two! You might argue that the cars in front of and behind the “offending” vehicle are at fault. That’s possible, but then we are left with the reality of two offenders instead of one. Plus, most often, the front/behind cars are abutted by other cars that are reasonably spaced, making the original car I mentioned the likely offender. The more obvious and aggravating offenders are those who park half-a-car-length from the nearest red-zone, wasting all that potential parking space. The extreme example of this waste is when people shamelessly park smack-dab in the middle of two marked parking stalls, straddling the dividing line(s). These inconsiderate boors should wake up and start thinking about what they’re doing.

How can I not mention the “Royal wedding”? Dozens of millions of British pounds wasted on two people getting hitched. Then we have the hoopla, the gawking, the salacious interest… What it all boils down to is a massive waste of everyone’s time. I was disgusted by the previous one of these episodes I encountered three decades ago, and am just as put off by it now. It’s horrible to be glorifying the trappings of an institution—monarchy—whose time has long gone by, and simultaneously engaging in so much waste.

Finally, the story a friend told me is just too delicious to omit. He received a call that initially treated him to a pre-recorded message from Dick Morris, a conservative commentator, and closed by asking him to take a “survey,” just 5-10 minutes. Well, it lasted far less, since my friend dared respond “4” when asked to “rate Obama on scale of 1-10.” A quick “thank you” and hanging up followed. Not that I have any inclination to defend Obama now, but the behavior described is entirely another thing, orders of magnitude into the absurd zone! I suppose, for these people, if you’re not fulminating and frothing at the mouth with Obama-phobia, your opinion isn’t worth anything.

I’m considering adopting a new motto and acting on it: “Eliminate idiocy.” I invite you to join this effort.

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Garen Yegparian

Asbarez Columnist

Garen Yegparian is a fat, bald guy who has too much to say and do for his own good. So, you know he loves mouthing off weekly about anything he damn well pleases to write about that he can remotely tie in to things Armenian. He's got a checkered past: principal of an Armenian school, project manager on a housing development, ANC-WR Executive Director, AYF Field worker (again on the left coast), Operations Director for a telecom startup, and a City of LA employee most recently (in three different departments so far). Plus, he's got delusions of breaking into electoral politics, meanwhile participating in other aspects of it and making sure to stay in trouble. His is a weekly column that appears originally in Asbarez, but has been republished to the Armenian Weekly for many years.

Latest posts by Garen Yegparian (see all)

• Drones for Armenia - November 15, 2022
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