Going the Distance for her Family

LOWELL, Mass.—In a day and age when working moms are like bionic women, Pearl Bargamian Teague believes in traveling the extra mile for her family.

Because she found the job market more attractive in Vermont, she secured work as a controller in a medical center. She leaves her job late Friday afternoon, drives the 200 miles to Lowell where three children and a husband welcome her with open arms, then returns to her second home late Sunday night or early Monday morning.

The weekend finds her tending to maternal chores, taking the kids to Armenian Church, helping out with Sunday School, offering assistance and patronizing the different organizations, especially the Armenian National Committee (ANC) of Merrimack Valley where she once served as chairwoman.

When weather is an issue, especially winters like these, it might be weeks before she is reunited with her loved ones. On occasion, they’ll make the trip.  Much of the domestic responsibility falls upon the shoulders of her husband Denis, an attorney, who chauffeurs the children to school and sporting events when mom’s not home while juggling his practice time. The Teagues have been married 18 years.

It’s become a commuter marriage that seems to be working short-term with lots of care and resolve.

“Snow is always an issue but my Ford truck can handle it,” she says. “Some days it takes four hours to get back home. You won’t see me doing more than 35mph on bad roads. Sacrifices are being made with family and personal life.”

Thanks to the electronic age, Teague is plugged into her environment. The computer and cell phone never leave her side. The thought of leaving Lowell and setting up a home in Vermont where the Teagues own land is not an immediate option.

Her heritage means more than her home.

“There’s nothing in the way of an Armenian community out there,” she points out. “The closest would be Montreal 145 miles away. I would probably use Skype and YouTube and CDs to simulate an Armenian Badarak at home and home-school my children in Armenian. But, yes, absence does make my heart grow fonder.”

Teague comes from prominent Armenian stock so her ethnicity is prioritized. Her mom by the same name is an ARS icon in Providence, R.I., where she was once honored as “Mother of the Year.” Her father Charles belonged to the Gomideh, never hesitating to set the record straight with the local press.

Two sisters and a brother make up the clan. Georgi-Ann Oshagan was a former editor of the Armenian Weekly and worked for various county publications in Wisconsin, now a chief labor attorney. Charlene Anoush is an accomplished artist, teaches art in schools, and has exhibited in the finest galleries throughout Chicago. Charles Jr. has a vast background in auto mechanics and now works in cosmetology.

Pearl grew up in North Providence and is a product of public schools. She graduated from Bentley College with degrees in accounting and management, working in a number of firms and health care associations before a “golden opportunity” struck in Vermont last year.

Friends were puzzled by her decision to live a dual life because of a job but she persevered with her decision and forged ahead, determined to make the best of it. The three children are Denis Jr., 15, who became a sitter for his two younger sisters, Kohar, 6, and Talin, 9.

It’s been a full year since she accepted the position as controller at Central Vermont Medical Center, a 122-bed hospital, 154-bed nursing home, with 18 physician practices and a net revenue operation of $145 million, located four miles from Burlington.

Teague is responsible for the entire financial structure, corporate tax reporting, and budgeting. To say it’s a responsible job is an understatement. She feels privileged to be in such a role—a career job, she says, that was difficult to reject.

The Teagues own 14 acres of woodlands along Vermont’s Waites River, 20 miles east of Barre, complete with an efficiency apartment that could warrant a move.

As for the hours she expends on the job, let’s just say she works the clock to death with 12-hour days being the norm, even more at budget and audit time.

“One time I made choreg for Talin’s Sunday School class, finished baking at 3 a.m., took a nap, was on the road at 5 a.m., and drove the entire distance without stopping,” she gasped. “One stop adds about 15 minutes to the commute. High fuel costs with a truck don’t make it any easier.”

Teague is definitely in the minority, given the fact that it’s usually the husband who may work apart, not the wife.  A recent U.S. census showed about 3.6 million married individuals living apart, not including those who were separated.

According to the Associated Press, many couples polled said there’s a certain sense of independence, self-reliance, and control, though reconnecting on weekends can be that much harder, especially when it comes to parenting and making household decisions. Many have different concessions such as isolation, home sickness, travel budgets, and missing important family activities.

“I miss the little things, even if it’s the bickering that goes on between spouses” Teague admits. “When I’m alone in my apartment finishing a meal, I wonder if Denis had prepared a good meal for the kids and rinsed the supper ware.”

Just how long Teague will become a commuter wife/career professional is anybody’s guess. She says the job is going well and sees a definite future where she’s employed. But there are obstacles in her path. Husband Denis would have to become recertified in Vermont and build a practice from scratch. The kids would be devoid of an Armenian lifestyle other than what Pearl could provide.

“My departure turns into a real heartbreak scene,” she says with emotion. “Last summer proved the worse when I had to give up our mountain-climbing ventures and other outings because it was time to leave. There were tears all around—and mine were the largest. It doesn’t get much easier now.”

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Tom Vartabedian

Tom Vartabedian is a retired journalist with the Haverhill Gazette, where he spent 40 years as an award-winning writer and photographer. He has volunteered his services for the past 46 years as a columnist and correspondent with the Armenian Weekly, where his pet project was the publication of a special issue of the AYF Olympics each September.

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