Uncle Garabed’s Notebook (Feb. 20, 2016)

On Teddy the Bear

My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding, and the baby at every christening.

… Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Brazilian Proverb

Love is blind but marriage restores one’s vision.

The Hope that Faded

A woman telephoned her friend and asked how she was feeling. “Terrible,” was the reply. “My head’s splitting, my back and legs are killing me, the house is a mess, and the children are driving me crazy.” “Listen,” said the caller, “go and lie down. I’ll come over right away and cook lunch for you, clean the house, and take care of the children while you get some rest. By the way, how is Sam?” “Sam?” the complaining housewife asked. “Yes, your husband.” “My husband isn’t named Sam.” “My heavens,” gasped the first woman, “I must have dialed the wrong number.” There was a long pause. “Then you’re not coming over?”

An Undertaker’s Advertisement

Why pay more for your funeral when

We’ve put away far better men,

Coffin and all, for twelve pounds and ten?

And this about your friends? Their pride?

Because the coffin’s only dyed

To look like maple? You inside

May rest secure—our guarantee—

That no man ever made so free

As to scratch a coffin’s lid to see!

… Ernest G. Moll

What’s in a Name?

Madghashian: Armenian in derivation, identified as a descriptive term, madghash is defined as new grown, fresh, young.

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CK Garabed

Weekly Columnist

C.K. Garabed (a.k.a. Charles Kasbarian) has been active in the Armenian Church and Armenian community organizations all his life. As a writer and editor, he has been a keen observer of, and outspoken commentator on, political and social matters affecting Armenian Americans. He has been a regular contributor to the Armenian Reporter and the AGBU Literary Quarterly, “ARARAT.” For the last 30 years, Garabed has been a regular contributor to the Armenian Weekly. He produces a weekly column called “Uncle Garabed's Notebook,” in which he presents an assortment of tales, anecdotes, poems, riddles, and trivia; for the past 10 years, each column has contained a deconstruction of an Armenian surname. He believes his greatest accomplishment in life, and his contribution to the Armenian nation, has been the espousing of Aghavni, and the begetting of Antranig and Lucine.

Latest posts by CK Garabed (see all)

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