Uncle Garabed’s Notebook (Dec. 5, 2015)

Commentary on Fashion

What would we say if men changed the length of their trousers every year?

… Lady Astor

 

Newspaper Headline

Cemetery Allows People to be Buried by Their Pets.

 

An Instructive Tale

A loving couple had one son; but, being very poor, the man came to England, and took service with a farmer. Years rolled on, and the man resolved to return to Cantire. His master asked him which he would have, three bits of advice or wages, and the man chose the former. Then said the master, (1) “Keep on the highway; (2) lodge in no house where there is an old man married to a young wife; and (3) do nothing rashly.” On his way to Cantire, the man overtook a pedlar journeying the same road, and the pedlar told him he would show him a short cut which would considerably shorten the way; but the highlander, recalling his master’s advice, resolved to keep to the high-road. The pedlar, therefore, parted company, fell among thieves, and was robbed of everything he possessed. They met again, and at nightfall the pedlar advised his companion to put up at a tavern well known to him; but when the Scotchman found the landlord was an old man who had recently married a young wife, he passed on. In the night, the old man was murdered, and the pedlar was charged with the crime. At length our traveler reached Cantire, and saw his wife caressing a sturdy young man. In his rage, he would have killed the young man; but, being determined to do nothing rashly, he went to some of the neighbors, inquired who the young man was, and discovered it was his own son, who supported his mother with his daily toil. The father was greatly rejoiced, made himself known, and on cutting up a cake which his master had sent as present to the man’s wife, he found therein the entire amount of wages due. The wise master had chosen this way of payment, to prevent the money being spent on the road before the man reached home.

 

… Cuthbert Bede, The White Wife, and other Stories

 

Misconstrued

“I take the next turn, don’t I” asked the driver of the car.

A muffled reply came from the back seat: “Like hell you do.”

 

What’s in a Name?

Zargarian: Persian in derivation, identified as an occupation, zargar is defined as goldsmith.

CK Garabed

CK Garabed

Weekly Columnist
C.K. Garabed (a.k.a. Charles Kasbarian) has been active in the Armenian Church and Armenian community organizations all his life. As a writer and editor, he has been a keen observer of, and outspoken commentator on, political and social matters affecting Armenian Americans. He has been a regular contributor to the Armenian Reporter and the AGBU Literary Quarterly, “ARARAT.” For the last 30 years, Garabed has been a regular contributor to the Armenian Weekly. He produces a weekly column called “Uncle Garabed's Notebook,” in which he presents an assortment of tales, anecdotes, poems, riddles, and trivia; for the past 10 years, each column has contained a deconstruction of an Armenian surname. He believes his greatest accomplishment in life, and his contribution to the Armenian nation, has been the espousing of Aghavni, and the begetting of Antranig and Lucine.
CK Garabed

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