Uncle Garabed’s Notebook (Nov. 21, 2015)

Critique of Prohibition

Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.

… Louis Pasteur

On Helpfulness

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

Newspaper Headline

Litigant Has No Right to Lay Advisors in Chambers

On Dissimulation

Many men who have gained power by an hypocrisy as gross as that of Pope Sixtus, have not used it half so well. This pope, when cardinal, counterfeited sickness and all the infirmities of age so well as to dupe the entire conclave. His name was Montalto; and on a division for the vacant apostolic chair, he was elected as a stop-gap by both parties, under the idea that he could not possibly live out the year. The moment he was chosen, he threw away his crutches and began to sing “Te Deum” with a much stronger voice than his electors had bargained for; and instead of walking with a tottering step, and a gait almost bending to the earth, he began to walk, not only firm, but perfectly upright.

On someone remarking to him on this sudden change, he observed, “While I was looking for the keys of St. Peter, it was necessary to stoop; but, having found them, the case is altered.” It is but justice to add, that he made a most excellent use of his authority and power; and although some may have attained the papal chair by less objectionable means, none have filled it with more credit to themselves, and satisfaction to others.

True to Form

A lecturer was speaking on the drink question. “Now, suppose I had a pail of water and a pail of beer on this platform, and then brought on a donkey; which of the two would he take?” “He’d take the water,” came a voice from the gallery. “And why should he take the water?” asked the lecturer. “Because he’s an ass,” came the reply.

What’s in a Name?

Titizian: Turkish in derivation, identified as a descriptive term, titiz is defined as meticulous, sour, peevish, fastidious, exact, hard to please.

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CK Garabed

Weekly Columnist

C.K. Garabed (a.k.a. Charles Kasbarian) has been active in the Armenian Church and Armenian community organizations all his life. As a writer and editor, he has been a keen observer of, and outspoken commentator on, political and social matters affecting Armenian Americans. He has been a regular contributor to the Armenian Reporter and the AGBU Literary Quarterly, “ARARAT.” For the last 30 years, Garabed has been a regular contributor to the Armenian Weekly. He produces a weekly column called “Uncle Garabed's Notebook,” in which he presents an assortment of tales, anecdotes, poems, riddles, and trivia; for the past 10 years, each column has contained a deconstruction of an Armenian surname. He believes his greatest accomplishment in life, and his contribution to the Armenian nation, has been the espousing of Aghavni, and the begetting of Antranig and Lucine.

Latest posts by CK Garabed (see all)

• A Reminiscence: John Najarian - February 19, 2020
• Uncle Garabed’s Notebook (Aug. 5, 2017) - August 7, 2017
• Uncle Garabed’s Notebook (July 22, 2017) - July 22, 2017