Within an hour of talking to me—nay, 15 minutes—people know something of my history with Armenia and Armenians. “Are you Armenian?” they ask with reasonable skepticism.
“No, but I lived there for five years,” I respond, “and I return almost every year.”
They wonder where Armenia is and whether I know the Kardashian family.
“It was a good fit for me,” I explain without being asked.
In reality, I’m compulsively Armenian in very select ways. You know how Armenians watch the credits at the end of every film, waiting to see an Armenian name, mentioning it aloud to friends or tucking it away for a future conversation? “Do you remember the Academy Award for Best Picture in 1971? Yeah, the assistant costume designer was Armenian.”
Well, I do it, too. I watch the credits roll more times than I’d care to admit, waiting to see the tell-all sign of an Armenian’s signature on a piece of art. The unassuming addition of two vowels and a consonant at the end of a word that may otherwise be Arabic or Turkish or Armenian: ian and yan. I wait, and I make note, silently congratulating the new immigrant or descendant of genocide survivors for making their way onto the big screen.
And you know how Armenians tell you that this-or-that famous person is Armenian because their so-and-so was Armenian? (Forgive me, I have given myself license to make sweeping generalizations in this piece.)
I remember friends in Armenia talking about an astronaut. “Wasn’t he Armenian?” my friend Hakob asked. Over-saturated by Armenian nationalism at the time, I exclaimed in exasperation, “Can’t he just be an astronaut? Does he have to be identified as an ‘Armenian’ astronaut?” My friends laughed and we ate our soup. Now I understand. Or maybe they brainwashed me. In either case, I do that, too.
Something I’ve noticed recently occurs in church. Whenever I’m in town, I play piano for services at a church in Minneapolis. During the Lord’s Prayer, when I’m generally sitting out of sight of the congregation with my legs crossed and a cup of tea in my hand, I think of the Armenian Church’s rules on behavior in churches.
I still remember my first months in Armenia, when a friend was told sternly not to cross his arms or hold them behind his back during the Badarak. Nevermind that I’m drinking a cup of Dunn Bros tea in church, which doesn’t cause me guilt in the least, I uncross my legs immediately when I hear the words “Our Father.” Arms, legs, they’re all the same—don’t cross them in the Armenian Church. So I uncross everything, compulsively.
Numbers are important to Armenians. Not in terms of years lived or chocolates eaten (though those, too, may elicit unsolicited commentary), but in terms of bouquets. An Armenian superstition dictates that flower bouquets should be made of an odd number of flowers. An even number of flowers should only be presented for funerals or cemeteries. Which makes me wonder whether snarky people ever do it to mock an ex-girlfriend or curse a boss. But I can’t find it on the internet, so it must not happen.
So, as I was making a modest Christmas gift for a colleague a few weeks ago (I’m terrible at crafts, but occasionally make the effort), I was short one, making it a total of 9 items. I was relieved—mostly out of laziness, and partly out of superstition—that I would not be cursing him with an even-numbered gift this holiday season. I should tell him to thank me for it, but I’m afraid that that would be too compulsive.
And, in that spirit, I add a fifth, an odd number for good luck and something to demonstrate how very modern I am. The matter is friends, and the means is Facebook. Like any good Armenian, I accept Armenian friends with no questions asked. Who are you? Doesn’t matter, you’re Armenian and we already have 53 friends in common, so we’re going to be friends soon enough. Could it be a ruse? Yep, but at least you brought my total number of friends to an odd number. And you know what that means?
Kristi Rendahl
Latest posts by Kristi Rendahl (see all)
- Using Armenian Professionally - June 8, 2022
- My Dad - April 12, 2022
- New Year’s Resolution: Humility - December 31, 2015
Good piece. Thanks.
Some might say Armenians suffer from superiority/inferiority complex, and that’s why they mention the Armenian origins of famous people–sometimes erroneously.
We mention our famous brethren and sisters because Western historians and scholars (also mass media) have invariably ignored or appropriated our greats and our contribution to human civilization. Many countries, where Armenians have settled over the centuries, have also appropriated the identity of talented Armenians.
The mighty Western cultural, media and political whoosh tries to drown other voices. This forces Armenians to shout so as to be heard in the Western propaganda din. If we don’t, odars would claim Sinan as a Turkl Henri Troyat as Russian-French; Michael Arlen as British; Atom Egoyan as Canadian; Artem and Anastas Mikoyan as Russian; Paradjanov as Ukrainian; Nelli/Lubluba as Egyptian; Arshille Gorky as American; Gurdjieff Greek or Russian; the many Byzantine emperors of Armenian descent as Greek… We are just learning of the Armenian descent of many Medieval “Arab” military commanders and the “king-makers” of Egypt.
When we seek an Armenian name in Hollywood film credits, we are demanding to be heard. We are not saying we are better than others; we are saying we are people who, despite our negligible number, often punch above our weight.
I never thought it was false pride or pride compensating for inferiority that made me compulsively check movie credits for Armenian names, or tell friends that so-and-so celebrity or artist or politician or scientist is Armenian. Rather it’s the remnant of the trauma of coming so close to being extinct, of being considered so disposable and unworthy of justice still almost 100 years later that makes me compulsively reaffirm that “Yes! We are here. We have value! We still impact the world.” It’s like looking in a mirror and seeing your reflection. Imagine if you saw no reflection!
Kristi, you have opened your heart to the Armenian spirit and it has found a warm home in you.
Boyajian,
Exactly! Which is why we see the same habit in Jews, too. They take tremendous pride in accomplishments of their own and love to tell everyone about it, more than we do. There are numerous lists of prominent Jews online, in different areas–science, arts, athletics, entertainment etc.
fun piece. :) Yay fellow Armenians and our nonArmenian friends who come to our movie screenings, protests, and never abandon us no matter how much we speak of our great history :)
ps. love the jirair’s comment. absolutely true. we have helped pretty much every great power in the world– now it’s time to give the Armenians themselves some recognition for their talents.
Dear author,
I think this is a good piece to share with Armenian friends in a friendly gathering at a cafe and to make jokes about. But don’t you think that you generalize things and stereotype Armenians?
I lived in Washington, DC, for two years, I met Americans in many parts of the world, but I never state that I know Americans. I always underline that I can talk only for DC. Things that you describe about Armenians sometimes seem out of logic to me too. But such things happen in the USA, too. For example, in DC I was advised to buy picked flowers for happy events and flowers in pots for funerals and sympathy. It didn’t seem to me something strange. To me, it is just a local tradition. That’s it.
Your churches are diverse, but I never say that it is strange to make noise in churches. I just respect local habits and traditions.
I never teased Americans for their knowledge of the world as “America and Overseas.” I just explored the reasons and found that geography and maps are not well taught in American schools.
Btw, I learned about Kardashyan from Americans. One my classmate asked me: “So, you are from Kardashyans?” I knew nothing about Kardashyan. I had to tell her that if she knew about American literature, I would say I am from Saroyans; if she knew the American modern art, I would say I am from [Archil] Gorkis; if she knew the American cinematography, I would say I am from Mamoulians; if she knew the American Opera, I would say I am from [Lusin] Amaras… All these are Americans. But some Americans know only American show-business and porno-stars. So, don’t blame Armenians for your ignorance about American culture, please.
I am sorry that in your five years you learned stereotypes about Armenians. Still, I can’t say that this article is a typical American perspective on Overseas. Thanks God, I picked the best from my experience in DC.
What you get is what you see!
an excellent response! bravo!
word.
Tsovinar:
She is not generalizing; as another commentator aptly stated,
“it is very common for all unique cultures to have their own myths,
habits, customs” et al. Your DC is hardly can be considered as
unique –by any measure! So go on and try to study DC area and
save your comments for a book!
Usually, I do not read this kind of articles but a debate on the wall of a friend of mine made me read it. This is a typical “colonial anthropology” style piece of writing, when the writer thinks that the way she/he goes to church or watches film or presents flowers is the RIGHT and ORDINARY way, and the one she sees among local “aborigines” is at least astonishing sometimes “stupid” sometimes “wrong”, “senseless”, etc.. But in reality, both ways are just variations of thousands of possible way of living and looking at the world…
OMG…great piece..especially the part we look for Armenian names in movie credits !!
Kristi,
I love you sense of humour (as the English would spell). Please continue sharing with us your views on us.
This would have been a fun article, had it not included a dirty word.
What in God’s name are you talking about Kevork? Grow up.
Oh come on you guys,give the nice Gal from Minn.some chance tpo express anyway hse likes.it isgood to learn what a young woman ,a non Armenian thinks about the ordianry Armenian,or quassi so.
The real objective here in my view is to opine what one non odar thinks about the gneerla armenian public,not you and me and or..well comes to mind that all forgot, Paul Ignatius(ian) ex Secretary of the mighty U.S. Navy..or his son still active as editor of the Washington post….
George Deukmejian,governor of CA for two temrs George Duke for friends and Mike Connors that when i livesd in Europe he came to visit there a local colleague had especillay invited him to his sumptuous home and gave him big party,not allowing his compatriot me to entertain him.Yes!!!
WE definitely (you are dead right) crave to be heard as to our achievements,perhaps a bit exaggerated..but then it is natural for a Downtrodden, abandoned christian people…Now though < Nation /State,of which i too am very proud of.
en fin, i liek your comments here.Do go on please and do not heed those that are bit sharp shall we say…
Rgds,
G.P.
Thanks to those who received this piece in the spirit with which it was intended — a light-hearted take on the ways in which my experiences with Armenians continue to inlufence my life. It goes without saying (in this particular column, anyway) that there are many more profound ways in which the country, people, history, and culture inform my life. I have nothing but respect and admiration for Armenians, and I am deeply grateful that many have shared parts of their lives with me.
I agree with Mr. Palandjian and Ms. Boyajian.
Kristi is being attacked by some for reasons that are completely mysterious to me. What exactly did she write here that is causing some readers conniptions ?
I don’t see it.
Read her previous articles. All of them. I have.
There is nothing but love and admiration expressed for Armenia and Armenians.
She is even more positive about Armenia than many Armenians.
She is not an outsider. She is one of us.
Avery, I welcome Kristi and her contributions. But there is something that bothers me greatly. Speaking for myself, I do not approve of throwing around the K word loosely, as if that is what being Armenian is all about, or that we all approve of her, or worse, “supposed” to approve simply because she is part of American media and is “rich”. I consider this approach to our culture as a form of dumbing us down and undermining our values through subtle means. I don’t know what else to say without losing my temper on this subject, because my commentaries will not be published.
Whenever I have voiced my outrage before, I have been severely criticized for doing so, presumably by Armenians… online that is, and never in real life. However, I would be interested in knowing exactly who these people are, which in my experience are only found on the internet. My guess is that they are American Armenians who grew up without speaking Armenian. The reason I say this is that I do not know any Armenian Americans who grew up speaking Armenian that would for one second tolerate being associated with the K family culturally. I also don’t know of any Armenians who would meet a non-Armenian and immediately present themselves as part of the K family people as this article suggests. I will stop here before I start mouthing off more.
Kristi, I thought your article was great. Don’t mind the criticism. The negative comments will always be there(as they say, there is no darkness that does not show light/vise versa).
Thank You Kristi,
Love all of your articles that are published and appreciate your continues writings of observations in Armenia and Armenians worldwide. Your spirit and heart warming analytic stories are such a welcome coming from a non Armenian (even though I think you have become an adoptive Armenian yourself). There would be some that will not like what you write, but everyone is entitled to their opinion. Most of the comments for this article are great, it started a conversation and made people to think why we do what we do and I like Jirair’s comments; that is kind of a response that your article created.
Thank You and look forward to reading more of your observations…..
Another great contribution–I love reading what you have to say!
Kevork you are misguided and therefor angry…… Most of us are Armenian speaking American Armenians. We do not take articles and opinions loosely, but see the difference and have our own opinions what to criticize and what to like. Being suspicious of everything and everyone will keep you angry……. always….
If I have to accept the Ks to be correctly guided, then I’d rather stay misguided. I wouldn’t say I’m angry in general because of them, but it does bother me when they are associated with the culture which I am so proud of like it’s a “day in the life of an Armenian”. Unlike other “progressive Armenians” I don’t see my culture pathetic enough to warrant representation by the likes of the K family. Quite the reverse.
I attribute the negative comments coming from first time readers of Kristi who do not know her, and her work (someone read it because it was on the wall of a friend on FB, and had generated a debate). And probably the commenters are native Armenians who are overly sensitive about anything they perceive as negative stereotyping. I would like to tell them that you are misreading Kristi. Can be language problem, can be cultural, or all of the above (including not knowing her, and her work). Kristi’s column are not meant to be “scholorly” analysis of Armenian society. They are her impressions, and experiences (overwhelmingly positive), and is something that most diaspora Armenians who have visited Armenia can identify with… And very fondly… As an Armenian every month I look forward to reading Kristi’s column in AW.
typo in my post above… “scholarly”. I hate when that happens. Dear moderator if you see both messages please correct the typo in the first one, and ignore this second one…
Great article, Ms. Rendahl. I thought I was the only one who looks for Armenian names in the credits (and share my excitement with my non-Armenian husband when I do spot a name). I very much enjoyed your article and don’t understand where the criticism is coming from.
I do look for Armenian names in the titles too. I do it for my children to show them good role models. Armenian names are usually down to the bottom in the “most creative and hardworking” departments. So we stay extra time at the movie theater when the local folks already followed their tradition of dumping pop corn on the floor for “Mexicans” to pick up and left to get their McDonald’s hamburgers with diet cola .
Previous generations of Armenians in America faced discrimination and tremendous assimilation pressure. So many had to abandon their language and culture, change their names to survive.
It’s easy to judge in 2013. But remember that only two generations ago they had to have two sets of restrooms on each floor of Pentagon because White folks could not tolerate the sight of non-White American soldiers.
Armenians to Turks is what Native Americans are to White folks in N. Dakota. Turks and “Americans” are both nomadic invaders who came from the East and destroyed our civilizations and now they look at us like in a zoo amazed that some of us managed to survive and try to keep our identity despite all the odds.
Yes, my American-born Armenian son used to take his empty bottle of breast milk off of the table when he was 18 months old or so. Because the superstition dictates that you don’t keep an empty bottle on the table!
Is this an Armenian tradition? I’m not sure. I’ve seen the flower counting superstition (which we also religiously follow) in other countries of the FSU.
For the last 100+ years each generation of my family was born in a new country. But we know EXACTLY where our ancestors graves are and where our souls belong. That’s the difference between us and the nomads, not the superstitions.
Case in point (regarding famous people being part Armenian):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Strummer
I met Ms Rendahl in Yerevan in May 2002, when I was volunteering there with AVC.
I have learned to appreciate and respect the excellent work she has done in Armenia and for Armenia before me and ever since.
I can vouch, as she stated herself in response to some of the over-zealous comments, that this article is light-hearted and is not meant to obfuscate anyone.
I found it very entertaining, amusing, and informative. I also found myself scanning the movie credits and am happy to know I am not alone.
As to Kevork, who does not sign his real name and wants to meet those who wish to distance themselves from his over-reaction: I have a house on top of the mountain in Yeghegnadzor. Please do come for a visit. Why would Ms. Rendahl have to apologize if a large number of unsuspecting Americans know more about the Kardashians than about our other famous co-nationals, hence they ask her (and sometimes me) the question?
No Mr Terjanian, I did not say I want to meet individuals, I am interested in learning demographically who they are. Are they patriotic Armenians? Part Armenians? Are they Atheists or religious? Are they mostly single young men? Did they grow up with an Armenian identity or American with an Armenian name? etc. I have a sneaking suspicion that people in Armenia do not know a whole lot about the K family and what the story is. I am pretty confident that Ms Rendahl would get a very different response if everyone in Armenia had internet. I can assure everyone reading however, that the Ks and our Armenian values are polar opposites. I cannot spell everything out here about what the mother did. It would be deemed too vulgar and “inappropriate”.
I am not looking for an apology from Ms Rendahl. I merely want people to be aware, even Armenian writers, that the K family is a controversial topic for many of us and shouldn’t be thrown around in articles regarding Armenia and Armenians as if it was a normal and accepted part of our culture. Thanks to the Ks, there’s an entire generation of ignorant Americans who now associate K with Armenian women. I can go on and on about how damaging this is, but I will stop it here.
Loved the article! As an Armenian American who did not have the privilege of growing up around other Armenians, I thought I was unique in looking for Armenian names in movie credits. I laughed with delight when I read that others do the same. I think this column is charming and in no way signals an intention to be condescending toward Armenian customs. Thank you.
On another note, I understood that this article was meant as a light-hearted fun article. And I too sometimes notice Armenian names at the end of shows. From the ones I’ve observed, probably the mother of all credits goes to the producer of Star Wars… and also Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Kristi Jan,
Simply speaking, all your articles are educational, truthful and very refreshing. We too watch the credits and count Armenian names and we love it. About Kim Kardashian and Family, is there one single day that passes by and her/their names are not mentioned in any US media ? Now that, I call SUCCESS. They work very hard and they are excellent entrepreneurs. Kim, with her several million followers are aware of the Armenian Genocide and they are sending contributions to the devastated Armenian churches and schools and help our brothers and sisters who are right now experiencing hardship in Syria. She and her Family are proud of their Armenian heritage. Although some people may not approve of Kim’s past behavior, but look at the positive things that she, her brother and sisters are doing to help the Armenian cause. Thank you Kristi for including her name.
Ms. Rendahl, please do not take any offense to my words, as they are directed not to you but those Armenians that are seemingly infatuated with foreigners taking interest in us. I am tired of certain Armenians, of whom are many, that swoon in awe at outsiders knowing who we are. This “otaramolutyun” displayed by Armenians is one that shows a sense of inferiority, so they constantly look for approval and recognition from those whom they perceive to be more “advanced” or “developed.” This condition manifests itself in many ways, such as constantly proclaiming that so and so was 6.5% Armenian or crying in joy anytime some Armenian character is on a TV show. While these foreigners you adore so much were living In caves we were creating a flourishing civilization, and now you perceive them to be some gods we have to appease. We should damn well have a superiority complex. By the way, there is a difference between being hosiptable to guests and friendly with otars, and with licking their shoe strings. I am not sorry if somebody takes offense to this, for it is exactly you that I am talking about. Quit feeling so lowly that you must seek out a confirmation of your existence in others. It should be us that they feel compelled to come in contact with, not the other way around.
I suggest reading Ms. Rendahl’s previous articles. Once that is done, a general context should emerge in anyone’s mind that sees something wrong in this article in particular. Sometimes a friend is just a friend.
Above post by a Robert*why not give your full name ,if you don’t mind…is a bit off course,if I may say so. He cannot discern between one fact from another.
Fact one.if Armenians in general are proud and show to non-Armenians that we are ahead-at least -of our neighbours*in the4 Caucauses-we have all the right to do so. for if i,above mentioned paul Ignatius*yan as theex- Secretary of the most powerful navy ,the USA,or some actor’s name like Mike Connors etc., that is purely because, for the awkward situation we were put into-pressed ande compelled into-by man eating…nearlyu neighbpours or people who kill sleeping people with axes…capiche?(ref. to Axeri Safaroglu,suppossedly russianized and educated Axeri) .
Fact two.
These latter people I referred to , have not changed even after 70 and odd yrs of strict soviet rule….thjence we have to indeed -like i add to now-Indeed we had the coutnerpart of >paul Ignatius in US in soviet union called Admiral Isakov….and so many more that have achieved EXCELLENCE in warfar, arts. culture music (katchaturian etc.,) so why should we not feel proud ,at the very least of our accomplishments……yes even comparable and surpassign some Euro such……
You have exagerrated mr. Robedrt your saying that we are as I just pointed out.
Main reason again(ALSO) is UNIVERSALLY excersized
PRIZE GIVING TO THOSE WHO ACHIEVE IN SOME OF THE ARTS,MUSIC WRITING ETC., COMES TO MIND THE N O B E L PRIZE..and medals to Marshals such as Hovahannes Bagramian of the ex-soviet Army or many many more.Even in the very old times Armenian generals oin roman and Byzantium armies…etc.,
if some feel jealous as to aboe and or thing we have the right to do so,it goes to show that they cannot come up to the heights that we HAVE ACHIEVED …
So be it.For a recap now!!!
I profess and advocate that as of NOW-I.E-. commencing 21 yrs ago…
wE HAVE A REBORN iNDEPENDENT STATE AND WE CAN BE PROIUD OF IT.WHY DON´T YOU LOOK AROUND MR. ROBERT AND SEE HOW OUR BROTHER JEWS ARE DISPLAYING-MUCH MORE THAN US….THEIR SSTAR OF DAVID EETC., IN EVEN PUBLIC `PLACES…YEAH
I was about to say we now have to come up with our own accomplishers WITHIN THE STATE OF ARMENIA /ARTSAKH AND SEERVE LESS TO ODARS BY AND BY .Become ,say great Turkey or some such.It goes without saying what latter has done ,but I purposefully mention that particular country and people of it so as your like will understand why we feel proud with our accom`plishments and GIT A LOAD OF THIS NOW.wE ARE TO GO AHEAD AND AHIEVE MUCH MORE WITH OUR NEW GENERATION!!!!!
And serve h u m a n i t y !!!!!in general not just us Armenians (so you wont come back and tell me I am racist…!!!)
To Kristi,
I am always puzzled when I see cases like yours, i.e. of non-Armenians interested in the Armenian cause. I am also jealous that I do not have a daughter like you! I explain; my daughter who’s about your age is interested in pursuing a doctoral thesis at Oxford in the field of Canadian Native Nations after getting a Master’s in social anthropology, in the same field, from the same institution. Where did I go wrong? Unless you were very closely involved with an Armenian friend, partner or colleague who initiated you to Armenianhood! Lastly, regardless of the references to the K word on this page, thank you for your article, and keep up the excellent work.
This article.is funny,every ethnicity does the same.thing,maybe in different ways,I am proud to.be Armenian and of Armenians.
Kristi…To add more to your article
why we are proud to have Armenians not only in film industry that is for me very small thing compared to discovers to save lives of humans …Please read about…
Altounyan & Damadian
Every scientist criticized Nobel advisers for not giving Raymond Damadian Nobel Prize…The same like Roger Altounyan (1922-1987) who discovered the Inhalers for Asthma…So we had two famous scientists who deserved Heartily- Soulfully-Scientifically the Nobel Prize…They were godlessly denied…
Why Why Why….plus many Why…s
Hence… when you use any inhaler… which is used for every problem in the chest now a days and if you do MRI… please remember both people
(Altounyan & Damadian) in your heart and bless their genes…
They worked extremely hard to achieve in their life…to serve humanity…!
Sylva-MD-Poetry
Many Armenians in Syria they don’t know about Prof Roger Altounyan his father had hospital there…!
Thanks for the chance to laugh at ourselves and our funny quirks! I couldn’t help grinning guiltily over your description of searching for Armenian names in the credits. Those names can pop up when and where you least expect it, like your obscure “assistant costume designer” example!
One thing though, having taken a college Russian-language course that included cultural info, I would almost definitely think that the superstition about an odd vs. even number of flowers is borrowed from Russian culture, which has a strong influence on present-day Eastern-Armenian culture. Then again, as long as it’s understood as “an Eastern-Armenian superstition” rather than generally “an Armenian superstition,” it’s all good.