Irritants XXIII

This round of irritants is all about food.

The first and most obnoxious is mayonnaise. It is an utterly repulsive substance. I don’t know how I used to eat it as a very young child, but something changed along the way and now, I find it completely unfit for human consumption. The snot that sometimes slips into one’s mouth when suffering from a cold is far more palatable than mayonnaise. Oddly enough, it contains nothing I do not otherwise like. But the combination of the ingredients makes it disgusting. I have almost vomited because of it. Yet, people, in homes or food preparation businesses insist on slathering this vile gel onto all manner of edibles, mostly sandwiches. Why is it so difficult to simply put it on the side for those who like the stuff to apply onto bread or mix into sauces and dips? We don’t see mustard in its varied preparations applied so liberally, or at all, but it is available for who prefer it as a condiment. On top its being despicable, mayonnaise also contains a massive caloric kick, a real problem in this age of obesity. What makes this particularly annoying in Armenian circles is that it is not even part of our native cuisine. Please, ease up on the mayonnaising of our mouths. And, if you think I’m alone in finding the white slime gross, please read this article in Mother Jones.