ANDOVER, Mass.—“He’s still my rock. I hope I’m still his”
It was a special day at the Bedford VA Hospital. Today was Valentine’s, not that it really mattered. With the Shrestinians, every day was one meant to be celebrated, bound by love for 52 years.
The fact he has an advanced stage of Alzheimer’s disease only heightens their relationship. Hardly a day passes that she isn’t by his side, tending to his needs, looking for that elusive smile. She reaches over to give him a kiss and he beams with delight.
“I don’t know if he knows it’s Ginny by his side,” she says. “But he knows it’s someone he recognizes and loves. That’s what matters the most to me.”
For 25 years, Ara served as a deacon at St. Gregory Church in North Andover, never missing a Sunday. They would leave their Cape Cod home in the summer on a Saturday to honor that commitment. For Ara Shrestinian, church and God came before pleasure.
But not family. The death of a son Steven in 1996 devastated the couple. The tragedy occurred on the eve of their wedding anniversary and they haven’t celebrated one since.
Two years ago, church members brought out a cake after Badarak and toasted the two on their milestone. Disaster struck again when a daughter Susan (Kulungian) was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2008 and has since gone into remission.
“He used to do all these things around the house like getting the car serviced and taking care of all the manly chores,” Ginny said. “Now, I’m learning to do them. I needed a new car and went shopping for one. Ara wasn’t with me.”
Soft music filled the air. A dozen other patients shared their company, including a retired Army colonel and a former surgeon at Massachusetts General Hospital. Alzheimer’s doesn’t discriminate. It picks its victims randomly.
At a time when education was at a premium, Shrestinian graduated from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) in 1951 and spent 53 years with Thompson & Lichtner in Cambridge as a civil engineer before retiring as vice-president.
In 1975, when a fire escape collapsed in Boston and sent a young woman plunging to her death, Shrestinian was called on the scene by authorities to investigate.
His final analysis led to solutions that were hailed by the industry. Accolades aside, for him it was all in a day’s work.
“He had a knack for always coming up with the right answer,” said Ginny. “My friends used to always kid me about dating an MIT grad. We go back to the days when his family ran a market in Haverhill. We got married a year after we met.”
As senior deacon of his church, Ara represented the voice of authority. In some ways, God was his co-pilot.
“I always feel at peace with myself and the church,” he often said. “It’s been a release valve for me. A day doesn’t go by when I don’t count my blessings and feel thankful for the world around me.”
He sang in the choir, served as choirmaster for 3 years, and was a trustee for 12. Among his interests was hosting foreign exchange students and being a handyman around the house while doting over his 6 grandchildren, ages 14-19.
Daughter Susan and son David have joined other family members and church friends in providing their overwhelming support.
Nothing filled his Ara’s more with joy than seeing some young acolyte following in his steps, often stepping aside to give them greater visibility on the altar.
Dementia started taking control in 2007. Ginny began noticing signs, like when he moved the wrong pieces on a backgammon board. She began driving him to work and patiently waited until he finished his business. Two years later, he retired. He’s been at the VA Hospital for over a year now after being transferred from a nursing home in North Andover.
One quality that hasn’t been affected is his appetite, especially cheoreg and other Armenian foods that Ginny brings. The photographs he once treasured and the music he adored has suddenly turned into empty memories.
“When the grandchildren visit, it turns into a special moment,” Ginny says. “He responds to them in very subtle ways. My husband always had a brilliant mind and to see this happen to him is very unfortunate. Every day with him becomes a precious gift.”
Tom Vartabedian
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Another wonderful story, Mr. Vartabedian. And what a wonderful family!
One of the loveliest Valentine stories I’ve ever read! There are words above our church altar that read in Armenian and English “God is Love”. It is quit apparent that Ara and Ginny have found true love — something unfortunately elusive for a lot of others. God bless them both!
Ara is a wonderful man. When our son was young, he was an acolyte at St. Gregory and Ara was the deacon. He was a kind mentor to these young kids who were learning service to God and their community. Our son really looked up to him and has continued to serve the Armenian church. They are a wonderful family. May God bless him and give his family continued strength.
True love isn’t about being together for just a day or two, but spending each day of our lives with someone accepting them who they are, Ara and Ginny Shrestinian share what we can call a life spent in true love, I wish them another 50 years in love.
For 16 years, I worked for a company that was closely associated with Ara as a professional engineer. Being the office manager, I had the opportunity to get to know him mainly on the phone but in person several times. We became friends and I always lit up when his voice was on the other end of the line. I’d chat with Ara for longer than I should have, he was just so interesting and warm and human. I always considered him a friend even though I only met in in person a few times at the office. I am so saddened to hear of his medical condition now as well as the trials his family has had to endure lately. I miss our long conversations and he and his wife are in my prayers always now. Ara is a one-in-million guy and everyone who knows him I’m sure agrees. Best wishes to Ara and his family from Rebecca and Paul in Salem.