DEARBORN, Mich. (A.W.)—Four years ago, Alex Sarafian laid in a hospital ward with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, uncertain about his future. Would he live or die?
Any plans for a wedding date with his long-time soulmate Kara Derderian were put on hold for obvious reasons. They would let time play its course and hoped for the best.
The elusive day arrived Aug. 14 when the two exchanged vows in what could be best described as a celebration of life, culminating an 18-year relationship.
Their elaborate wedding took place in Dearborn, Mich., just outside the sprawling Henry Ford gardens adjacent to the Hyatt Regency Hotel where the reception followed.
In fact, Alex was often reminded about Jon Lester’s comeback as a Boston Red Sox pitching ace after experiencing a similar ordeal. If Lester is 26, Alex is 14 years older. His biological clock was ticking. So was his wife’s-to-be.
“Doctors gave me a 60 percent chance to beat it but there was also a 40 percent chance that I wouldn’t survive,” he told me back then. “I wasn’t prepared to die. The positive side is the perspective you gain. Maybe it’s because God has selected me to help other people facing adversity. Life can be fragile. My message to others is never take your health for granted.”
Needless to say, it threw a wrench into any wedding plans. Alex didn’t wish to put any person into a state of uncertainty, much less Kara.
Instead of mourning his condition, he remained upbeat, sending out daily notices on his blog with a positive tone. He didn’t dwell on the pain or any other side effects from his treatments. He looked forward to the day he would be in remission and wed the girl he loved.
The cancer had taken its toll on him but he was a big man with an even bigger heart and a smile that would brighten any room. When he was 12, his dad succumbed to a heart attack while dancing in a Boston hotel.
The youngster was in his room sound asleep at the time and got the news the next morning. His mom died a few years later with that same lymphoma that now punished him.
Not the kind of disheveled appearance you might find from a bruising college athlete who made the track team as a walk-on at the University of Michigan, where he finished second in the javelin during the Big 10 Championships.
At 6’2, 230 pounds, Alex struck a daunting hulk pose. But he was as gentle as a pup finding its way to a litter.
I knew him well. Most of all, I relished his philosophy on life. If there was a silver lining in his cloud, Alex had found it.
“A lot of people have been in my corner,” he told me during his recovery. “I’ve been doing my own ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’ by emailing people and giving them updates. It’s been overwhelming with all the prayers being offered and the personal relationships.”
Their wedding took place on a picture-perfect day with close to 500 guests in attendance. They exchanged vows inside St. Sarkis Armenian Apostolic Church as two priests presided over the ceremony. The wedding party featured 35 attendants. The bride wore a gown that resembled what Chelsea Clinton donned on her wedding day. More than one tear was shed that day reflecting happiness, not sorrow.
Rev. Archpriest Dr. Gorun Shrikian reflected the emotion that engulfed his church. He’s known the two since their childhood days, having spent 45 years in the community over three generations.
“I asked Kara when she would get married and she said was waiting for the right man,” he told the crowd. “She found him. It’s a family that’s close together and very close to my heart. When I talk of them, I feel like they’re my own children. These are days I’d like to see remain firm for generations that follow.”
He pointed to Kara and Alex, then added, “You will have a family just like your parents did.”
Rev. Fr. Daron Stepanian reiterated the words of his senior colleague, pointing out the virtues of love and commitment. Also on the altar in the role of deacon was crooner Onnik Dinkjian.
The reception was complemented with special cushioned chairs, floral arrangements that extended to the ceiling, open bar the whole time, and two musical venues dividing their time. People literally danced the night away. No stone was left unturned.
A honeymoon to Hawaii was put on ice, only because Alex is into his final year on the AYF Olympic Governing Body and wishes to carry out his final responsibilities in Philadelphia over Labor Day Weekend.
In lieu of traditional favors, a donation was made in everyone’s honor to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.
“Without the efforts of such worthy organizations, wonderful days like today might not happen,” the couple remarked.
The newlyweds compared their wedding day to a destination embracing two individual journeys as they acknowledged their guests and thanked them for all the kindness and support rendered.
“Our friends have been a source of laughter, a shoulder to cry on, the people with whom we shared this journey…some for just a short while, others for a lifetime,” they had written in their program.
Among them were people like Aram “Sonny” Gavoor, who called it “a gold medal marriage” for obvious reasons. He recalled how Alex was an outstanding athlete while attending University of Detroit High School where he participated in baseball, basketball and football.
Both Alex and his brother Raffi (the best man) had won numerous gold medals in Junior and Senior AYF Olympics. Alex scored a career high 90 points in competition and set a discus record in 1993 with a throw that exceeded 150 feet. His presence was felt as an athlete, coach, and organizer who has done all in his power to promote the athletic integrity of the AYF and his community.
Win or lose, healthy or ill, he’s always taken his scruples in stride.
“Alex has been a devoted AYF leader, spokesman, and member of the Governing Body,” said Gavoor. “He has run the Midwest Junior Olympics for the last 20 years with his crew. He was instrumental in motivating and leading the Detroit Chapter to three successive titles. He’s a man of character and compassion, focused and dedicated to whatever endeavor crosses his path.”
Another close friend, Michael Hagopian, described the couple as “the picture of patience, perseverance, and love.”
“They have waited and stayed together for a long time until they both felt it was the right time for them to get married,” he said. “I really don’t know if anyone else could have survived the time that they did. This is a story where love truly conquers all.”
Kenny Topalian, a member of Armenia’s Olympic bobsled team in the 1990’s and related through marriage, also pointed to a unique bond shared by the newlyweds.
“They have witnessed too many tragedies yet their zest for life and love has remained incredible,” added Topalian. “They’ve taught me so much about the depths of our feelings and appreciate all that God has given us.”
Kara is the daughter of Harry and Margo Derderian, while Alex is the son of the late Don and Ani Sarafian. The family’s gold medal tradition dates back to dad Harry who dominated the tennis scene during the 1960’s and early 1970’s as a member of the Springfield Chapter.
Kara’s brother Armen, sister Kristen, and brother-in-law David Shahrigian also won their share of gold medals as stellar AYF athletes.
“There isn’t anyone at this wedding who knows another with as much internal strength and fortitude than Alex,” said Harry Derderian in praise of his new son-in-law. “He’s remained a profile in courage and I’m not sure he fully realizes what an inspiration he’s been to many folks. We’ve all felt pride in his achievements.
“This wedding is a celebration of love, friendships, families and, in total, a celebration of love,” he concluded.
Patience. Endurance. Extreme loyalty. Beating the odds. Coin any compliment and it might fit the picture. That when two people have hope, they can move a mountain and conquer despair.
Alex and Kara waited half their lives to tie the knot. They will be the first to admit it was well worth the wait and anticipation, if for no other reason but to test their resilience and confirm their love for one another. And to look at Alex’s days with lymphoma as a stepping stone toward an absolute marriage.
People face obstacles every day. Some handle it better than others. Others grow bitter by them. For Alex and Kara, they cleared every hurdle on their track. No king and queen is more worthy of a wedding crown.
Tom Vartabedian
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Tom send Us more wedding Photos:
God bless You and your Camera with your hands.
To see A Wedding Photo
Means a new Life—
Binary to unary
Bringing happiness to attenders
And encourage lovers to unite
And make parents happy
To see their offsprings in love.
Hopefully for all young Armenians;
As we need more clever dears.
Sylva
God bless this young couple. I pray they enjoy many years sharing the same pillow.
Congratulations – a very courageous & dedicated to the causes they believe, especially to each other. Stay well, you have a bright future ahead. God Bless you both. Haigoush