Hack! Hack! Sniffle! Sniffle! Brrr …
I’m cold– and I’ve got a cold. So what else is new this winter? It seems like we’re all in the same boat.
The topic of conversation these days is not necessarily the weather because that’s pretty stale. Instead, folks are talking about cures for the common cold and how to keep warm under these frigid conditions.
It’s the beginning of February and we’re living in the Ice Age.
A woman told me she hasn’t left the house in three weeks. Another said he can’t find his car. It’s buried somewhere. I’m rolling with the punches, looking forward to a couple weeks in Florida very soon.
That’s enough to make the throes of winter seem a bit more tolerant. Take your skiing and snowshoeing. Give me the comfort of a lake anytime.
So, how do you stay warm in the midst of winter’s fury? Don’t visit my friend Al’s house. He keeps his thermostat on 65 and walks around like an Eskimo inside an igloo. Says it cuts down on his utility costs. But don’t tell his wife that. She’s the one sitting by an electric heater inside an afghan.
This same guy roams the outdoors in a short-sleeved shirt and once, in single digit weather, I found him outside in shorts.
“It’s all in the mind,” he tells you. “Think warm and you’ll stay warm.”
Might I also add that he belongs to a group called the Polar Bears and they take a plunge in the ocean every New Year’s Day.
Brrr! Hack! Sniffle!
Other than money, no reason why you shouldn’t join a fitness spa and hang out inside the steam room. The sauna is yet another alternative. Take a steam and switch to the sauna. Then linger under a hot shower. Who cares? You paid your membership so why not enjoy the benefits?
Catch a cheap flight to Florida. If you have a relative or friend here, impose a little. You can go house-hopping like my neighbor.
Spend an extended day roaming the malls. Don’t buy anything. Just take advantage of the crowds. People usually radiate heat. Some of these shops are so uncomfortably warm, you need to escape, particularly if you’re dressed for the outdoors.
Sun lamps and tanning booths are good but don’t fall asleep under one, unless you wish to bake. I came out looking like a French fry one day.
Cough! Cough! Shiver! Shiver!
Now that we’ve found some ways to keep warm, how about getting rid of this persistent cold which has tormented me for three weeks?
Yes, I did get a flu shot like so many others. A lot of good it did, with only a 25 percent effective rate this winter.
My sainted grandmother had the perfect remedy. She brought it with her from the old country where people live in mountains and are immune to colds and other maladies.
Her panacea was lemon. She would take the juice from a whole lemon and squeeze it into her tea and presto! Not even a sneeze or a cough. She once made me drink it and disgusting as this was, it did the trick. While other students from my class were shaking in their boots, the sun was dancing in my stomach.
For one thing, it erased all doubt about a common cure. A trip to the pharmacy can turn into a revolting experience. An entire two aisles are devoted to cold remedies.
There are daytime and nighttime medications, some non-drowsy and others that make you sleepy. You have the tablets and the capsules, the liquids and the drops with instant vapor action.
The drug companies would make it easier if they came out with one simple pill or liquid that would serve as a practical solution. My cousin Ralph has the perfect advice.
“Take nothing,” he tells me. “Let the cold run its course.”
What’s worked for me more than anything else is a good shot of ginger brandy, not enough to get you inebriated, but just a nip. One day, I took two nips before attending a church meeting. My pastor smelled my breath and wanted to make a house call.
“No problem, reverend. I’m fighting a nasty cold. It’s flu season, tra-la-la.”
There I was, making a visit to an elderly friend recently, still feeling a bit under the weather. The guy offered a remedy of his own.
“Garlic! It does wonders,” he divulged. “It’s always worked for me. Mince up a clove and add it to your salad. You won’t be sorry.”
I did just that. All it gave me was bad breath.
Tom Vartabedian
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