Uncle Garabed’s Notebook (July 16, 2016)

On the Bestowal of Awards

The King may give the honour, but thou art to make thyself honourable.

… Thomas Fuller

Kindergarten Quiz

Question: Why couldn’t they find Mozart’s teacher?

Answer: Because he was Haydn.

Armenian Proverb

They asked the camel, “Why is your neck crooked?” He said, “What is straight about me that my neck should be straight?”

History’s Lessons?

For those who believe that the raid on Bank Ottoman in 1896 was a blunder that resulted in the deaths of many innocent Armenians, think about it this way:

When the Armenians resisted the sultan, he retaliated by ordering the massacre of as many as 300,000 Armenians. When the Armenians cooperated with the Young Turks to depose the sultan, the Young Turks virtually exterminated the Armenians.

A Slight Misunderstanding

Checking an application for employment that had just been handed in, the personnel director was amazed to note that it contained figures 125 and 121 in the spaces for “Age of Father, If Living” and “Age of Mother, If Living.” “Surely your parents can’t be as old as this?” asked the incredulous director. “Well, no,” was the answer, “but they would be, if living.”

It Follows

Edo: Avo’s opening sale has closed. What now?

Bedo: His closing sale opens.

What’s in a Name?

Zarzavatjian: Turkish in derivation, identified as an occupation, zerzevatchuh is defined as a green grocer.

• Bio
• Latest Posts

CK Garabed

Weekly Columnist

C.K. Garabed (a.k.a. Charles Kasbarian) has been active in the Armenian Church and Armenian community organizations all his life. As a writer and editor, he has been a keen observer of, and outspoken commentator on, political and social matters affecting Armenian Americans. He has been a regular contributor to the Armenian Reporter and the AGBU Literary Quarterly, “ARARAT.” For the last 30 years, Garabed has been a regular contributor to the Armenian Weekly. He produces a weekly column called “Uncle Garabed's Notebook,” in which he presents an assortment of tales, anecdotes, poems, riddles, and trivia; for the past 10 years, each column has contained a deconstruction of an Armenian surname. He believes his greatest accomplishment in life, and his contribution to the Armenian nation, has been the espousing of Aghavni, and the begetting of Antranig and Lucine.

Latest posts by CK Garabed (see all)

• A Reminiscence: John Najarian - February 19, 2020
• Uncle Garabed’s Notebook (Aug. 5, 2017) - August 7, 2017
• Uncle Garabed’s Notebook (July 22, 2017) - July 22, 2017