Uncle Garabed’s Notebook (April 23, 2016)

A Man Who Knows

Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.

… Henry Ford

Good Samaritan

A man spotted a young woman futilely edging in and out of a tiny parking space. Ten minutes later, thanks to his directions, the car was neatly parked in the space. “Thank you very much,” the woman said. “This is very nice, but I was trying to get out.”

Bonaparte’s Estimate of British Sailors

“I had always a high opinion of your seamen,” said Napoleon one day to O’Meara, in a conversation arising out of an expedition to Algiers. “When I was returning from Holland, along with the Empress Marie Louise, we stopped to rest at Givet. During the night, a violent storm of wind and rain came on, which swelled the Meuse so much, that the bridge on boats over it was carried away. I was very anxious to depart, and ordered all the boatmen in the place to be assembled, that I might be able to cross the river. They said that the waters were so high that it would be impossible to pass before two or three days. I questioned some of them, and soon discovered that they were fresh water seamen. I then recollected that there were English prisoners in the barracks, and ordered that some of the oldest and best seamen among them should be brought before me to the banks of the river. The waters were very high, and the current rapid and dangerous. I asked them if they could join a number of boats together, so that I might pass over. They answered that it was possible, but dangerous. I desired them to set about it instantly. In the course of a few hours they succeeded in effecting what the others had pronounced to be impossible; and I crossed before the evening was over. I ordered all those who had worked at it to receive a sum of money each, a suit of clothes, and their liberty.”

Nostalgia

In his younger years when Uncle Garabed would listen to classical music broadcast on the radio, his mother would sometimes listen along, and if the announcer mentioned the name of Tchaikovsky the composer, she would repeat it, except it would come out Chikafusky. And if the announcer mentioned the name of Toscanini, the conductor, she would make the observation, “Anbajar tas klokh er ki tas kanini guh g’anchen.” Tas klokh, of course, being Dikranagerdtsi Armenian for pot-head or bald.

What’s in a Name?

Shahdanian: Arabic in derivation, identified as a descriptive term, shahdan, from shahdin, is defined as sun worship.

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CK Garabed

Weekly Columnist

C.K. Garabed (a.k.a. Charles Kasbarian) has been active in the Armenian Church and Armenian community organizations all his life. As a writer and editor, he has been a keen observer of, and outspoken commentator on, political and social matters affecting Armenian Americans. He has been a regular contributor to the Armenian Reporter and the AGBU Literary Quarterly, “ARARAT.” For the last 30 years, Garabed has been a regular contributor to the Armenian Weekly. He produces a weekly column called “Uncle Garabed's Notebook,” in which he presents an assortment of tales, anecdotes, poems, riddles, and trivia; for the past 10 years, each column has contained a deconstruction of an Armenian surname. He believes his greatest accomplishment in life, and his contribution to the Armenian nation, has been the espousing of Aghavni, and the begetting of Antranig and Lucine.

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