Uncle Garabed’s Notebook (March 7, 2015)

A Plug for Honesty

Make yourself an honest man and then you may be sure there is one rascal less in the world.

… Thomas Carlyle

The Jackdaw of Rheims

The cardinal-archbishop of Rheims made a great feast, to which he invited all the joblillies of the neighborhood. There were abbots and prelates, knights and squires, and all who delighted to honor the grand panjandrum of Rheims. The feast over, water was served, and his lordship’s grace, drawing off his turquoise ring, laid it beside his plate, dipped his fingers into the golden bowl, and wiped them on his napkin; but when he looked to put on his ring, it was nowhere to be found. It was evidently gone. The floor was searched, the plates and dishes lifted up, the mugs and chalices, every possible and impossible place, was poked into, but without avail. The ring must have been stolen. His grace was furious, and, in dignified indignation, calling for bell, book, and candle, banned the thief, both body and soul, this life and forever. It was a terrible curse, but none of the guests seemed the worse for it—except, indeed, the jackdaw. The poor bird was a pitiable object, his head lobbed down, his wings draggled on the floor, his feathers were all ruffled, and with a ghost of a caw he prayed the company to follow him; when lo! there was the ring, hidden in some sly corner by the jackdaw as a clever practical joke. His lordship’s grace smiled benignantly, and instantly removed the curse; when lo! as if by magic, the bird became fat and sleek again, perky and impudent, wagging his tail, winking his eye, and cocking his head on one side; then up he hopped to his old place on the cardinal’s chair. Never after this did he indulge in thievish tricks, but became so devout, so constant at feast and chapel, so well-behaved at matins and vespers, that when he died, he died in the odor of sanctity, and was canonized, his name being changed to that of Jim Crow.

… Barham: Ingoldsby Legends

Mistaken Identity

It’s unfortunate that so many prominent Armenians are given to self worship instead of self respect.

What’s in a Name?

Fasouliajian: Turkish in derivation, identified as a trade, fasouliaji, from fasulya, is defined as a seller of beans.

Fasoulajian: Turkish in derivation, identified as a descriptive term, fasoulaji, from fassal, is defined as a backbiter, one who always “runs down” others.

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CK Garabed

Weekly Columnist

C.K. Garabed (a.k.a. Charles Kasbarian) has been active in the Armenian Church and Armenian community organizations all his life. As a writer and editor, he has been a keen observer of, and outspoken commentator on, political and social matters affecting Armenian Americans. He has been a regular contributor to the Armenian Reporter and the AGBU Literary Quarterly, “ARARAT.” For the last 30 years, Garabed has been a regular contributor to the Armenian Weekly. He produces a weekly column called “Uncle Garabed's Notebook,” in which he presents an assortment of tales, anecdotes, poems, riddles, and trivia; for the past 10 years, each column has contained a deconstruction of an Armenian surname. He believes his greatest accomplishment in life, and his contribution to the Armenian nation, has been the espousing of Aghavni, and the begetting of Antranig and Lucine.