Uncle Garabed’s Notebook (Jan. 31, 2015)

Smart Alecs

No fools are so difficult to manage as those with some brains.

… La Rochefoucauld

Tongue Twister

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

He’d chuck all the wood that a woodchuck would if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Piso’s Notion of Justice

Seneca tells us that Piso condemned a man to death for murder on circumstantial evidence; but on the way to execution the man supposed to be dead exclaimed, “Hold! I am the man supposed to have been killed.” The centurion sent back the prisoner to Piso, and explained the reason why. Whereupon Piso condemned all three to death, saying “Fiat justitia! I condemn the prisoner to death, because sentence of death has been passed on him; the centurion for disobeying orders; and the man supposed to have been murdered, because he is the cause of death to the other two.”

Word Play

Knott and Shott fought a duel

Knott was shot and Shott was not.

Their seconds concluded that it was better to be Shott than Knott.

Entry in an Autograph Album

What we call luck

Is simply pluck

And doing things over and over;

Courage and will,

Perseverance and skill,

Are luck’s four leaves of clover.

What’s in a Name?

Giureghian: Greek in derivation, identified as a divine term, Kyrios (Cyril, in English) is defined as lord, often referring to God in the Bible.

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CK Garabed

Weekly Columnist

C.K. Garabed (a.k.a. Charles Kasbarian) has been active in the Armenian Church and Armenian community organizations all his life. As a writer and editor, he has been a keen observer of, and outspoken commentator on, political and social matters affecting Armenian Americans. He has been a regular contributor to the Armenian Reporter and the AGBU Literary Quarterly, “ARARAT.” For the last 30 years, Garabed has been a regular contributor to the Armenian Weekly. He produces a weekly column called “Uncle Garabed's Notebook,” in which he presents an assortment of tales, anecdotes, poems, riddles, and trivia; for the past 10 years, each column has contained a deconstruction of an Armenian surname. He believes his greatest accomplishment in life, and his contribution to the Armenian nation, has been the espousing of Aghavni, and the begetting of Antranig and Lucine.